TomSteber

Attachment 27685Just feel like writing. In a couple hours I have to leave for my Mom's wake service.
The funeral is tomorrow. Had to go out and buy a new suit because I couldn't fit in the one I had for my step-daughter's wedding. God that was only 3+ years ago. Not good.
Oh well, thin suit... fat suit. One for any occasion.
I always new this day would come. And I felt it was coming soon. Just didn't expect last Tuesday night. Thank God I was there.
I keep telling myself that she went very peacefully. This was the fourth person I've witnessed go and it was the most peaceful. I just can't believe it really happened.
As my wife says lovingly, "We're both orphans now".
If anybody reads this it'll probably sound pretty scattered and rambling. Too bad. My thoughts, mt fears, my sorrows.
I wish I didn't have to do this. Watching her die and seeing her body after was hard enough.
But this will be an open casket service this evening. Did I mention that I feel guilty because I wish I could watch the Packers in the playoffs today? I also feel guilty because I'm DVRing it. Of course I'm sure someone will let us know the outcome before we head back home this evening. Service is over at 8pm. Oh well, if they lose and we know it, that just means we can save ourselves from the agony of watching it.
My hands feel shaky. Feel like someone keeps punching me in the gut. Can't wait for this to be over with. But then when it is (tomorrow), there will be nothing left to do but mourn.
Thank God my wife's boss came over the other day and brought us a complete dinner.
Chicken Lorraine. Very tasty. Of course I don't much feel like eating, but I know I have to.
Don't want to get run down. After all, I do have to go back to work next Wednesday. I'm sure that'll be a joy. Well, maybe it will be good to get back into some kind of routine.
Well, I should probably go put gas in the car so it's ready to go. At least it's a beautiful sunny day today and it sounds like it will be tomorrow too.
Just keep praying for strength to get through this. I know I will. We all end up going through this at some point in our lives. Quite honestly though, I'm tired of it! This is the third death of a parent in four years. First both of my wifes parents two years apart. Now my Mom. Dad died in 2000. I still have my older brothers (3), unfortunately one of them is probably headed in this direction soon too.
But for now, we'll celebrate Mom's life and remember the fun we all had together.
Tomorrow is another day. All I have to do is get through today.
One foot in front of the other.
I wish I could say I feel better after writing, maybe a little, but not much.
In closing, I'm including a picture of Mom at our place this past Thanksgiving. She just thought it was the coolest thing that one of our cats wanted to hop a ride on her walker.
I blew it up to an 8x10 and put it on one of the many picture boards for today.
Love you Mom!
Your little baby boy