Why i dont like staying in hotels dun sooth

[stiz]

ok so i've just got back from going to the Old Warden Mil pagent, which was good, however my main goal was to have my fear of southen hotels and there ways banished!!

Day 1:-

So first impresions, nice, nothing to overally complex. I could understand the lass on reception which is always nice, allthough she did make me use one of those modern key cards things instead of just a normanl key but i once i figured out which way round it went it was easy enough to figure out!

The room was fine .. one of those fancy bath things instead of a metal tub in front of a fire but i have to admit, the bath thing might catch on as you can lie down! Bed sheets where made outta paper though, must those anti-allergy things .... these sutheners must be allergic to sleep n all!

Breakfast was a help yourself affair which was allright, cept the milk was warm, but i cant complain about the sausages or beans, no ketchup though!!

Lunch cant be compared as McDonalds Drive throughs are the same throughout the country .... cept scotland where they just call em McDonalds Fry throughs!

We also went to this city called Camebridge ... must be because the bridge came before the city?? who knows, but the only of any worth pointing out is the overcharged prices of everything! Yorkshiremen stay away! its daylight robbery, done with a smile and posh voice!

So back to the hotel and dinner ... this is where it went downhill! I present excipit 1, the table layout!

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f117/Stiz987/snf.jpg

now i'll admit i'm not a paticualy shiny piece of metal, but last time i looked i had 1 pair of hands and only ate 1 meal at the time .... then it was pointed out to me i was gonna have 3 courses ... ok ... unneeded but what the heck, i'm on a trip so i'll splash out .... so parrently i had to eat it with the outta most set of knife and fork ... then for the main meal i had to use the inner set ... and the spoon and fork are for desert ... but only if you can find a place to put the plates! now i'n my honest opion as a well sharpened piece of wood thats all just far to complecated .... I present excipit 2: The Northen way!

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f117/Stiz987/ist2_5126174-dinner-plate-knife-and-fork.jpg

note ... 1 plate for pile of desired food, 1 knife and fork to shovel into mouth said desiered food .. done, dusted, simple!

Once dinner was over back to the room for a nice earned rest .... only to find that everytime i moved i thought the sheets had ripped ... silly paper sheets! I will admit though, the sheets where good for one thing, i forgot my notepad so wrote the maid a nice note about how the northen way is the better way! :jump:

[Cazzie]

ok so i've just got back from going to the Old Warden Mil pagent, which was good, however my main goal was to have my fear of southen hotels and there ways banished!!

Day 1:-

So first impresions, nice, nothing to overally complex. I could understand the lass on reception which is always nice, allthough she did make me use one of those modern key cards things instead of just a normanl key but i once i figured out which way round it went it was easy enough to figure out!

The room was fine .. one of those fancy bath things instead of a metal tub in front of a fire but i have to admit, the bath thing might catch on as you can lie down! Bed sheets where made outta paper though, must those anti-allergy things .... these sutheners must be allergic to sleep n all!

Breakfast was a help yourself affair which was allright, cept the milk was warm, but i cant complain about the sausages or beans, no ketchup though!!

Lunch cant be compared as McDonalds Drive throughs are the same throughout the country .... cept scotland where they just call em McDonalds Fry throughs!

We also went to this city called Camebridge ... must be because the bridge came before the city?? who knows, but the only of any worth pointing out is the overcharged prices of everything! Yorkshiremen stay away! its daylight robbery, done with a smile and posh voice!

So back to the hotel and dinner ... this is where it went downhill! I present excipit 1, the table layout!

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f117/Stiz987/snf.jpg

now i'll admit i'm not a paticualy shiny piece of metal, but last time i looked i had 1 pair of hands and only ate 1 meal at the time .... then it was pointed out to me i was gonna have 3 courses ... ok ... unneeded but what the heck, i'm on a trip so i'll splash out .... so parrently i had to eat it with the outta most set of knife and fork ... then for the main meal i had to use the inner set ... and the spoon and fork are for desert ... but only if you can find a place to put the plates! now i'n my honest opion as a well sharpened piece of wood thats all just far to complecated .... I present excipit 2: The Northen way!

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f117/Stiz987/ist2_5126174-dinner-plate-knife-and-fork.jpg

note ... 1 plate for pile of desired food, 1 knife and fork to shovel into mouth said desiered food .. done, dusted, simple!

Once dinner was over back to the room for a nice earned rest .... only to find that everytime i moved i thought the sheets had ripped ... silly paper sheets! I will admit though, the sheets where good for one thing, i forgot my notepad so wrote the maid a nice note about how the northen way is the better way! :jump:

It's exactly opposite across the pond stiz. Southern hospitality and good cooking, plus much cheaper prices than you'll find in Yankeeland.

Caz

[stiz]

btw, for those of you who cant see the humour, its just a joke and a bit of ribbing :), been sat in a car for about 6hrs and i'm tired, but the pub dont shut up for another hr or so yet so i thought i'd come on and annoying you lot :bump:

[srgalahad]

Sadly, it seems the Romans built Hadrian's Wall a bit to far to the north..:wiggle:

[Collin]

Sadly, it seems the Romans built Hadrian's Wall a bit to far to the north..:wiggle:

Ohh Lawd YES!:icon_lol:

Mind you Cambridge is excellent as no-mans land, scares most of the Northern preverts away with the expense.

regards Collin:ernae:

[lefty]

Why i dont like staying in hotels dun sooth

Got bad news for you, matey..

You ARE 'dun sooth' ! :jump: :scotland: :jump:

[stiz]

Sadly, it seems the Romans built Hadrian's Wall a bit to far to the north..:wiggle:
:icon_lol:

just before new castle woulda been better :bump:

[luckydog]

Back in the middle 50's......Dad was transferred to England ( Sculthorpe AFB ).
Because of a lack of base housing, we spent a month at a VERY rustic hotel in Hunstanton.
The room was always sunlit with lots of glass and double doors that opened to a huge garden with trees and bushes and paths and lots of hiding places.
I especially liked the tennis court, where a young lady with long muscular legs and short skirt would bounce around on a daily basis.......( I had yet to enter 1st grade ).

But I digress......

One of the 1st nights in the dining room, I had ordered chicken, and when it arrived I immediately picked up a piece ( drumstick ) with my hands and started chowing down .
The "waitress" informed me that if the Queen saw me eating with my hands, I would be thrown into a dungeon.

To this day, I eat chicken with a knife and fork.......only using my hands on occasion because I know the Queen would have to go through a lot of red tape to get me......

[jmig]

It is good to know that in every land, in every part of the world there are still rednecks, country bumpkins, or whatever they are called in their area...AND...they are darn proud of who they are.

I liked the story, stiz. One question, do they really use disposable paper sheets in hotels? Or am I missing something?

[stiz]

I liked the story, stiz. One question, do they really use disposable paper sheets in hotels? Or am I missing something?

no they dont, there these non allergy ones, so that if you have any allergys and what not they shouldnt kick em off, prolly cleaner as well in the long run, but they do feel like paper :bump:

[lefty]

Well you must stay in some very odd hotels, dear boy. Before retirement my job was selling linens to hotels, and I can assure you that 95% of hotels in the UK use cotton sheets which they rent from companies who do the laundry.

Only place you find anything different is in nursing homes and prisons where they use nasty fire-retardant stuff.

Non-allergy ? Well it depends what you're allergic to !!

[srgalahad]

Only place you find anything different is in nursing homes and prisons where they use nasty fire-retardant stuff.

You may be on to something here...

there's no explanation of how long his term ... errrr 'trip' was, whether it was at the expense of the gov. nor whether he's out on bail.. or parole.

However, it may just be that he found boiled cotton sheets to be not as soft as the animal furs more common at 'ome.

:running:

[lefty]

Once spent a night in Scarborough.

It was ,um, entertaining. ;) :censored:

And the sheets were cotton. I think.

[Henry]

now we are talking about class
ya northerners dont know what a salad fork is:173go1:
move to Louisiana they do not know what a knife and fork is!
LOL
as for rednecks and country bumpkins
im proud to be one
and as far as Hunstanton goes i guess its close to sandringham
but believe me thats where the country bumpkins go for holidays
a norfolk country bumpkin:jump:
LuckyDog
i was at sculthorpe in the 50's also
my Dad was a lorry driver we helped dismantle the afb
still have a nissen hut from there
H

[stiz]

Well you must stay in some very odd hotels, dear boy. Before retirement my job was selling linens to hotels, and I can assure you that 95% of hotels in the UK use cotton sheets which they rent from companies who do the laundry.

Only place you find anything different is in nursing homes and prisons where they use nasty fire-retardant stuff.

Non-allergy ? Well it depends what you're allergic to !!

well, holiday inn so not strictly a hotel, but close enough :)

[redriver6]

move to Louisiana they do not know what a knife and fork is!


as we speak i am enjoying some grilled pork chops....no knife or fork necessary:ernae:
and maybe just a little white zinfandel:)

[Naismith]

Once spent a night in Scarborough.

It was ,um, entertaining. ;) :censored:



I once spent a night in Scarborough - it was closed for the season. :jump: