Saying weird things to total strangers

[OBIO]

Have you ever been in a store and seen someone and for whatever reason something about them just makes you want to make some comment to them...maybe about their really colorful hat or their resemblance to some famous person? Well, I would assume that this happens to most of us....having these things pop into our heads that we want to say...but I think most people have some innate mechanism that prevents them from walking up to a total stranger and saying, "Excuse me ma'am, but has anyone ever told you that you look like Buddy Hacket?"

Unfortunately for the strangers I encounter, I don't have the gene that prevents normal people from saying weird things to total strangers. Me, I see a stranger, get an oddball thought...and BOOM I let it rip. Not the bad stuff....I was able to prevent myself from telling the 25 year old woman with 9 children that she should find herself a new hobby....but just barely. But the stuff like, "Excuse me sir, I really like your hat," or "Excuse me ma'am, has anyone ever told you that you look like Buddy Hacket?"...that one landed me in the hospital for a few days...who knew that a 12 pack of Ensure could do so much damage?

Well, tonight, on the way home from a rather enjoyable evening sitting around the bonfire and playing Corn Hole (it's a game...sort of like horse shoes but with a board and bags filled with dried corn) with the in-laws, I stopped at Krogers (grocery store) to grab some milk and bread. As I was walking down the bread isle, I noticed a young lady (mid-20s) at the end of the bread isle. She was wearing one of those really expensive (yet still made in China and not worth a fraction of what she paid for it simply because it has a fancy name embroidered on it) velor "sweat suit" thingies. Jacket and pants. The instant I saw her, the thought popped into my head "Oh my Gawd, someone skinned a teddy bear to make her clothing!" And if I had that innate mechanism to prevent me from saying weird things to total strangers, that young lady would not have been left standing in the isle, mouth hanging open because I just told her that her outfit looked like a skinned teddy bear.

Maybe my wife is right...I need therapy...and pills.

OBIO

[SpitXIV]

OBIO,

Good thing her boyfriend or husband wasn't with her. Discretion is the better part of valor\velour pun intended.

[PeteHam]

No doubt about it Tim , you'd be a fun guy to hang out with ....

Never a dull moment , dangerous but never dull

Pete.

[TARPSBird]

Many times at Barnes & Noble when I encounter a customer with multiple unruly children, I'm tempted to suggest that they find out what's causing those kids and put a stop to it. To date my self-control has kept me in check.

[AndyG43]

OBIO,

Good thing her boyfriend or husband wasn't with her. Discretion is the better part of valor\velour pun intended.

Discretion

Discretion is the better part of Valerie
though all of her is nice
lips as warn as stranberries
eyes as cold as ice
the very best of everything
only will suffice
not for her potatoes
or puddings made of rice

Not for her potatoes
or puddings made of rice
she takes carbohydrates
like God takes advice
a surfeit of ambition
is her particular vice
Valerie fondles lovers
like a mousetrap fondles mice

And though in the morning
she may whisper:'it was nice'
you can tell by her demeanour
that she keeps her love on ice
but you've lost your hardearned heart
now you'll have to pay the price
for she'll kiss you on the memory
and vanish in a thrice

Valerie is corruptible
but known to be discreet
Valerie rides a silver cloud
where once she walked the street.



Poem by Liverpool poet Roger McGough; whenever I hear "discretion is the better part of valour" this poem pops in my head; felt the need to share it with you all (which, sort of, reinforces Obio's initial point!!).

[Navy Chief]

Tim,

That was hysterical! You really should write a book about such things. You have a gift, my friend. Such fantastic wit!!!

Thankfully, I wasn't drinking my coffee when reading your post, or I would have spit it all over the place...laughing out of control!

Pete

[Tom Clayton]

"Excuse me ma'am, but has anyone ever told you that you look like Buddy Hacket?"

Maybe I'm jaded, but not much can make me bust out laughing - this one did!

...to grab some milk and bread.

Is it snowing there already???

[Rami]

Tim,

I have that same disease, but mine generally comes from playing off the statements of others, how innocuous they may be. As a consequence, those who know me and are around me every day have gotten into the habit of being very careful formulating their sentences so as to avoid "the trap," but often they stumble or get tongue-tied, making it even funnier. This especially happens to my dad.

Example...one of my students was talking about the death of John Lennon, only she pronounced it "Lemon." Just on instinct, I said..."yeah, and some people say he was a real sourpuss." Yes, they're mostly groaners, but they're still fun.

I also had a similar reaction to yours when I say Roger Ebert after they reconstructed his jaw following his cancer bout. I know that they did a remarkable job and all, but my first thought, which I uttered out loud with my wife sitting next to me on the couch was..."My God, he looks like Darth Vader without the mask." (Jedi, not the newer ones) The milk she was drinking went up her nose, and she cursed me for the next five minutes.

[SpitXIV]

Tim,

I have that same disease, but mine generally comes from playing off the statements of others, how innocuous they may be. As a consequence, those who know me and are around me every day have gotten into the habit of being very careful formulating their sentences so as to avoid "the trap," but often they stumble or get tongue-tied, making it even funnier. This especially happens to my dad.

Example...one of my students was talking about the death of John Lennon, only she pronounced it "Lemon." Just on instinct, I said..."yeah, and some people say he was a real sourpuss." Yes, they're mostly groaners, but they're still fun.

I also had a similar reaction to yours when I say Roger Ebert after they reconstructed his jaw following his cancer bout. I know that they did a remarkable job and all, but my first thought, which I uttered out loud with my wife sitting next to me on the couch was..."My God, he looks like Darth Vader without the mask." (Jedi, not the newer ones) The milk she was drinking went up her nose, and she cursed me for the next five minutes.

Rami,

your comment about Darth Vader without the mask was excellent, my sympathies to Mr. Ebert.

[SpitXIV]

Discretion

Discretion is the better part of Valerie
though all of her is nice
lips as warn as stranberries
eyes as cold as ice
the very best of everything
only will suffice
not for her potatoes
or puddings made of rice

Not for her potatoes
or puddings made of rice
she takes carbohydrates
like God takes advice
a surfeit of ambition
is her particular vice
Valerie fondles lovers
like a mousetrap fondles mice

And though in the morning
she may whisper:'it was nice'
you can tell by her demeanour
that she keeps her love on ice
but you've lost your hardearned heart
now you'll have to pay the price
for she'll kiss you on the memory
and vanish in a thrice

Valerie is corruptible
but known to be discreet
Valerie rides a silver cloud
where once she walked the street.



Poem by Liverpool poet Roger McGough; whenever I hear "discretion is the better part of valour" this poem pops in my head; felt the need to share it with you all (which, sort of, reinforces Obio's initial point!!).

AndyG43,

you're a poet and didn't know it, and your toes are Longfellows!

[Toastmaker]

No doubt about it Tim , you'd be a fun guy to hang out with ....

Never a dull moment , dangerous but never dull

Pete.

Yeah. . . except for the cornholing the in-laws part -