A F-22 pilot's review after flying a F-4
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Thread: A F-22 pilot's review after flying a F-4

  1. #1

    A F-22 pilot's review after flying a F-4

    Just read this. Hilarious! Enjoy all..... NC

    F-22 Pilots comments after flying the F-4 Rhino
    A pilot who flies the F22 had the HONOR of flying a F-4 Phantom at Eglin AFB. Here is the F-22 pilot’s thoughts on flying the majestic F-4:

    I flew the Phantom a couple days ago. I had a little trouble getting the engines started, so I climbed out and shoveled some more coal in the back; after that she fired right up. Ground ops were uneventful, although I couldn’t figure out why the cockpit smelled like body odor, Jack Daniels and cigars…and that was BEFORE I got in it! BTW,what’s with the no slip tape crap on top of the intakes, it’s like you have permanent icing conditions due to that spray-on rhino truck bed liner on top of the aircraft. It’s no wonder you needed so much coal (I mean thrust) to get airborne.

    Take off scared the bejesus out of me. I lit the burners at brick one and 2 miles and 5 minutes later we were ready to rotate. After barely clearing the tree tops, the gear came up and I climbed away at a VERY impressive 2 degrees nose high. Once I got her up to speed and a moderate altitude, we were ready for the G-Exercises. After just completing 2 G-turns - I’m sinking like a rock…the F-4’s energy seems to bleed like Holyfield’s ear in the Tyson fight! After the G-Ex it was time to do a little Advanced Handling Characteristics (AHC) and by “advanced handling” I mean the same crap the Wright Brothers were doing back in 1903…just trying to keep it airborne.

    The jet flies much like my old man’s station wagon used to drive…You turn the wheel (push the stick) a few inches and nothing happens, then all of a sudden the steering kicks in, inertia takes over, and all HELL breaks loose! You’re pretty much along for the ride at that point and only gravity has a real say in your lift vector placement. “Checking 6” was really quite easy…. because you CAN’T! Scratch that off the list of “Sh*t I need to do to keep myself alive in combat. ” Breathing, however, was surprisingly easy in the F-4 compared to the F-22 (thank you Lockheed)…LOX works, who knew!

    Unfortunately, I think I may have burned my legs a bit from the steam pouring out from behind the gauges. Where are my 6 mini-flat TV screens. I’m lost without my HD jet display. After the AHC, I decided to take her up high and do a supersonic MACH run. We weren’t up there high-fiving Jesus like we do in the Raptor, but it was respectable. However, it only took me the width of the Gulf of Mexico to get the thing turned around while above the Mach. After that we dropped to the deck and did 600 kts at 500’; a ratllin’ and shakin’ we will go…. I thought all the rivets were going to pop out. Very quickly we were out of gas and headed home.

    As I brought the jet up initial, I couldn’t help but think that the boys who took this thing into combat had to have some pretty big brass you know whats!

    My first F-4 landing was a little rough; sub-standard really by Air Force measure… but apparently “best seen to date” according to the Navy guys. Did you know that there’s no such thing as an aerobraking in the F-4? As soon as the main gear touches down, the nose comes slamming down to the runway with all the force of a meteor hitting the earth….I guess the F-4 aerobrake technique is to dissipate energy via denting the runway with the nosewheel.

    Despite an apparently “decent” landing, stopping was a whole different problem. I reached down with my left paw and pulled the handle to deploy the drogue chute…at which point a large solid mass of canvas, metal weights and cables fell out of the tail cone and began bouncing down the runway chasing me like a lost puppy and FOD’ing out the whole runway. Perfect. I mashed down on the brakes and I’m pretty sure at this point the jet just started laughing at me. I really take exception to the references of shoveling coal into the engines-----my goodness,,,,-any F-4 pilot knows all you needed was a few gallons of JD and Jeremiah Weed to get it cranking.

  2. #2
    Thanks for sharing Chief! The Phabulous Phantom... To know her is to love her. Spent 6 years of my career maintaining the world's phinest phighter, C,D,E,G and RF's.

    The Old Master Sergeant
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails f-4_title.jpg  

  3. #3
    That was great!
    My computer:Win XP 32 Home SP3, Q9650 @ 3.6 GHz, 4GB DDR2-800 RAM @ 800 MHz, EVGA Nvidia 560Ti-SOC-1GB

  4. #4
    Great read, NC! I'm surprised the author didn't say anything about that freeloader sitting in back, following him around everywhere in the Phantom
    America never stopped being great.

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