You know you are getting old when......

[OBIO]

you climb the thirteen steps from the first floor of your house to the second floor....and break wind 7 times doing so.

That just happened to me.

It's official....I am getting old.

OBIO

[Naismith]

Didja check yer pants after?

[emfrat]

OBIO, don't take them two-at-a-time...
(BTW, wind-assisted stair-climbing records will not be recognised)
ATB
MikeW

[rdaniell]

you climb the thirteen steps from the first floor of your house to the second floor....and break wind 7 times doing so.

That just happened to me. It's official....I am getting old. OBIO

Sorry OBIO but that does not qualify you for official membership in the OLD F**TS CLUB yet. Now the first time you demonstate the "walking fa**ts, I'll send you a certificate.

Edit: OBIO, I forgot to mention that you will also have to score at least a 5 on each of the Flatulence Aptitute Repretoire Test scales. They are; Tonal Quality; Fragrace; Amplitude; and Duration.

RD

[luckydog]

I score 5's when I lay under the dining room table at suppertime.........

[Daveroo]

well.....last week the new brother inlaw was over helping with the new ac unit,,,i bent over to do something and one snuck out,randy just fell over on to the floor and held his throat,mom looked at me and said....now look,ya kilt another one,,to which he looked at her and asked is that what happened to mike??
davey gased him?.......


funny people

[n4gix]

Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snot nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

http://bitsandpieces.us/2011/10/12/texting-for-seniors/

Here's one they left out:

NTAF - never trust a f*rt

[hey_moe]

LMAO.... You know you are getting old when ya start shopping for those Depends underwear cus every time you fart you Chet your paints and can't smell it and just keep walking like nuthin happen.

[Ickie]

one of them companies gives a free sample, and never trust a fart.

[cheezyflier]

i had most of my small intestine removed in 2003. i have already forgotten more about farting than most of you will ever know.
:pop4: http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s180/cheezyridr/Awesomedance.gif

[Odie]

you climb the thirteen steps from the first floor of your house to the second floor....and break wind 7 times doing so.

That just happened to me.

It's official....I am getting old.

OBIO

Careful OBIO, the body warranty expires at age 50....gravity kicks in and all other sorts of things begin to happen. Good thing is that the family no longer frowns when things happen...they just look in your direction and shake their heads.

[AussieMan]

Sorry OBIO but that does not qualify you for official membership in the OLD F**TS CLUB yet.

RD

RD there is one other rule you are overlooking. To qualify for the Old Fart Club you need to be 60 years old.

[Naismith]

Notice he has failed to reveal the results of his skivvies inspection. Too embarrassed eh? :pop4:

[rdaniell]

RD there is one other rule you are overlooking. To qualify for the Old Fart Club you need to be 60 years old.

Been a member for 6 years now almost 7 as I have a birthday coming up next month. Reading all the responses here made me think about my dad.
He must have been around 80 when my son nicknamed him "Boomer." The occasion was one day as my son and I were getting ready to fly back to Clanton from a grass strip close by my parent's house. Dad was standing outside by the side of his car which was parked fairly close to my Ercoupe waiting for us to taxi out as I already had the engine running. Dad cut loose with a big one just as we started to move forward. It was so loud that my son and I could hear it above the engine noise. Therefore, the nickname, "Boomer." My dad just stood there grinning.

RD

[rdaniell]

Notice he has failed to reveal the results of his skivvies inspection. Too embarrassed eh? :pop4:

Perhaps he is still trying to come up with a very witty way to say that he has skid marks in them. :icon_lol:

RD

[aircav1970]

Guy's,gettin' old is the pitts,at 60 the flatulence level,specially in those early morning hours when you're all warm and cozy in the bunk is outrageous but the real thing that made me realize that I was hittin' that senior citizen plateau is when I sit down on the throne and ma jewels now dangle in the water....oh,cruel fate....what have you dealt me?:frown:

[OBIO]

The truth about the undershorts I was wearing during my Climbing Fart experience is just a bit to embarrassing to openly admit......but since What Happens In The Outhouse Stays In The Outhouse.....

All of my boxer briefs were dirty....so I was wearing a pair of my wife's high cut panties. The nylon/polyester they make those things out of is NOT designed to with stand a 90 MPH fart. Blew those frilly things all to bits. The wife will be very POed if she learns that I killed a pair of her new panties. I hid them behind the toilet....haven't had a chance to sneak them out to the trash can yet.

OBIO

[Tako_Kichi]

Just be glad you weren't wearing one of her thongs! That butt-floss would have been vibrating like a 'Jew's Harp' all the way up the stairs!

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[rdaniell]

The truth about the undershorts I was wearing during my Climbing Fart experience is just a bit to embarrassing to openly admit......but since What Happens In The Outhouse Stays In The Outhouse.....

All of my boxer briefs were dirty....so I was wearing a pair of my wife's high cut panties. The nylon/polyester they make those things out of is NOT designed to with stand a 90 MPH fart. Blew those frilly things all to bits. The wife will be very POed if she learns that I killed a pair of her new panties. I hid them behind the toilet....haven't had a chance to sneak them out to the trash can yet.

OBIO

Well guys, what did I tell you about OBIO's response. He was just taking time to think up an acceptable excuse. And as usual, this one has me rolling in the floor.

RD

[Terry]

Of course if you were to fart on each of these thirteen steps I doubt anyone would complain much.

[T Square]

My Dad told me 3 things to always remember about getting old :

1. If you feel like you have to pee Do It! cause after awhile it don't happen very often anymore.

2. If you feel like you have to fart, go to the potty cause it probably ain't what you think it is.

3. If you get an erection and can't remember what it's for, don't rush to the Hospital Emergency Center for it.

[Odie]

The truth about the undershorts I was wearing during my Climbing Fart experience is just a bit to embarrassing to openly admit......but since What Happens In The Outhouse Stays In The Outhouse.....

All of my boxer briefs were dirty....so I was wearing a pair of my wife's high cut panties. The nylon/polyester they make those things out of is NOT designed to with stand a 90 MPH fart. Blew those frilly things all to bits. The wife will be very POed if she learns that I killed a pair of her new panties. I hid them behind the toilet....haven't had a chance to sneak them out to the trash can yet.

OBIO

Well, the question of boxers or briefs is somewhat irrelevant at this point. Makes the image of OBIO going up the stairs now.....clearer.

[n4gix]

... but the real thing that made me realize that I was hittin' that senior citizen plateau is when I sit down on the throne and ma jewels now dangle in the water....oh,cruel fate....what have you dealt me?:frown:
That your's still dangle is a blessing! I suffer from the opposite extreme; the incredible shrinking type of extreme! :blind:

You know you're really getting old when that old joke about needing a magnifying glass and tweezers just ain't funny no more!
:173go1:

[AussieMan]

That your's still dangle is a blessing! I suffer from the opposite extreme; the incredible shrinking type of extreme! :blind:

You know you're really getting old when that old joke about needing a magnifying glass and tweezers just ain't funny no more!
:173go1:

Amen to that. Know the feeling too well.