Need some advice please girl problem Scared to death here!!!

[HouseHobbit]

Hi all...
Perhaps some of our Ladies can give me some Help here..

A month ago I was at a funeral of a friend who has been in my life since I was a boy hobbit..
And I met again my High school sweetheart..
We had a wonderful time speaking together..
We have seen each other several times over the years but never spent a lot of time talking together..

Now She wants to become a part of my life again..
I do care deeply for her, our friendship goes back to when I was 10 years old..
To be honest I am very frightened of women folk and a bit shy now..

I am not able to understand why this Still very beautiful Lady would want me back in her life..
I would love to have her again as my friend..BUT...
(I have several ladies as Friends and enjoy their kind company...and are very grateful for their friendship)

I am at a Grateful to Know her again and still care deeply for her..
I am a bit afraid of all of this.. Yea as I said Girls to worry me..
I just don't know how to handle this ..
I have lived most of my life alone, was divorced 22 years ago and haven't ever thought anything like this again for me..
And I know we have a shared pass I do hold dear to my heart..
But I am not one to do anything like this, and with our shared past as a sweetheart, it worries me..
But the Way we seperated when I left for the ARMY a lifetime ago.. Since then we both have had our lives, and now are learning about each other again..
Just very frightened by all of this..
I can be her friend and have always been her friend..
But I am worried about all of this new stuff, She wants to go to dinner and spend time together..
Don''t know what to do or say..
Any advice would be Most welcomed..
Thanks all..

Yea Hobbits are a bit shy when it come to Girls..
Easy to be a friend, but the other stuff does scare me..

[Meshman]

I'm not a girl, so I'll wait for Obio to respond before I say anything.

And the above doesn't mean anything, other than Obio might understand your trepidation?

[norab]

gird your loins, sharpen Sting and set forth once again on the road that goes ever on

[gigabyte]

Well Mr Hobbit I see you have got yourself in another fine mess, matters of the heart can be frightening but the rewards can not be matched. Your feelings for this lovely lady are obvious so if Ole Gig was in your Hobbit shoes (not that they would fit...) a few dinners and "get to know you again" DATES would be the order of the day. If nothing else reconnecting and catching up should be time well spent, and if you take your time and stay in a comfort zone, things will happen as they should.

I would say you are one lucky Hobbit, not many get a second chance to connect to someone who was so very important from their formative years, many time when they are gone they are gone...

Best of luck my friend...

[FOO FIGHTER]

Go for it!

If you still have feelings for her and she still has feelings for you, then take it to the next level. Spend more time with her and see where that takes you. Don't let the shyness rule your actions and try to be just a bit more carefree. Pay attention to which direction she wants to take the relationship and don't be overly terrified of the outcome. If you don't act now, you will live your life in doubt wondering what might have been.

I had been in a similiar situation many years ago but was too shy to act upon the feelings in my heart. She wanted a more serious relationship and so did I, but I could'nt break out of my shell and now she is gone. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her and how I wish I had a second chance to sweep her off her feet and not be so shy and afraid.

[joe bob]

Do it.
Go out and get to know her again without any deeper expectations.
She is the only one that can tell you why she wants to be part of your life again.
Be self confident and have a good time. That is a huge part of being attractive.
If it is not meant to be then it may hurt, but so does regret of a chance not taken.

[HouseHobbit]

Thanks all, I didn't expect this to happen..
I am a bit taken back by it all..

I am grateful for your honest advice..
Much to think about on top of,,, Lots to think about..

I am happy as I am, I do live alone..( with Katastrophe Her Highness )
You don't own a Cat you just are allowed to live with them..

I don't suffer from being lonely or such things..
I know there are Many people who truly care for me..
In spite of myself..

So to now renew something like this really changes all of my ..Comfortable life in my Hobbit Hole..
All the quiet, is being shaken and I am not used to this..:icon_eek:

As I said a Lot to think about..And Pray about..

[grunau_baby]

You shouldn´t think too much! Some people just stay in our minds even if we don´t dee them anymore for mayn years and regaining such a friendship might just be what the lady is looking for. It might work out or not... Take it as it comes!

Moreover: what is better than just being being friends without any pressure or silly expectations? If there´s more to it (and NO that is not automatically so!!! And it not necesarilly must be this way;-) you can stil decide. Just enjoy! Take it easy! I met my wife after I completely gave up on any "relationship fuzz" and most important is: we are friends...

Alex

[OBIO]

HouseHobbit

In my nearly 42 years on this earth, there are two things that I have learned:

1) The mashed potatoes in frozen TV dinners taste really really horrible, no matter how much butter you put on them.

2) Life is meant to be shared with someone. We, meaning humans, were not put on this earth to live alone, to experience alone. We are meant to have someone, a partner, a soul mate, a kindred spirit...someone who means more to us than we mean to ourselves...to share life's daily ups and downs, life's daily successes and failures, life's daily good times and bad times with.

The first 34 years of my life, I believed that I was meant to live alone, to be alone. I never felt like I fit in with my family....I always felt like an outsider, a stranger...even around my parents and siblings. I KNEW that I was built to be a Lone Wolf.

That changed in January 2004, when I met a blue-eyed gal with a slightly crooked smile and feet that are shorter than my hands. When I looked into her eyes.....I saw my future reflected back at me. After only 4 days of talking to her....I asked her to marry me. Heck, we were engaged before we even had our first official date! I knew that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make that blue-eyed gal with a slightly crooked smile and feet that are shorter than my hands happy.

Has our life together, our marriage, been a "and they lived happily ever after" kind of life and marriage....NOOOOOOO! Many hurdles, hardships, disappointments, failures and set backs have come our way....but we have weathered the storms, and come back to port with most of our sails and rigging intact. Oh, we have had some fine times as well...times when even the simplest pleasures...like sharing a bowl of ice cream while snuggled in bed and watching scary movies....makes all the horrible stuff in the world go far far away. It is those times...those ice cream in bed times....that give us the strength and focus to keep going.

And that dear friend, may be the opportunity that is knocking at your door. The opportunity to share life's ups and downs, rain and sunshine, tears and laughter with.

Take it slow...don't do like I did and pop the question before you ask the gal out on a date for goodness sake....let this unfold as it will.

OBIO

[Daveroo]

you may not take me serious here....but if it were me...i would buy the dvd set of the BBC show "AS time goes by" with judy dench its about a couple who were together for a short time at the begining of world war two..then went theyre seperate ways..and got back together and end up married.....like i said..id buy the dvd set and invite her for dinner and some TV time.....

but thats just me....im strange like that.....many of my "dates" in my 20s ended up on my bed watching Key largo or cassablanca, no sex..just on the bed with cracker jacks and soda..watching a movie.......

[txnetcop]

Hobbit have you read this...RUN Amigo RUN!
http://www.sim-outhouse.com/sohforums/showthread.php?51478-The-Female-Demerit-System....this-is-hysterical!!!!&p=565521#post565521 (http://www.sim-outhouse.com/sohforums/showthread.php?51478-The-Female-Demerit-System....this-is-hysterical%21%21%21%21&p=565521#post565521)

Couldn't help myself...Sorry Hobbit! I will tell ya after my first divorce I hooked up with an old girlfriend from high school and things seemed to go along quite well. We dated on and off for about a year and then when she found I was dating our mutual friend (who introduced us in the first place) she turned psycho on me. I mean what did she think I was doing when we weren't dating???? We weren't engaged or even made promises to each other...sheesh! I hope your situation comes out better than mine my friend. The moral of the story is take your time and really get to know her!
Ted

[rhumbaflappy]

First off: she's not a girl. She's a 50-something woman. As Ted hinted above, she'll require 110% of your time, attention and fidelity. No more flight simulator, no more Outhouse, and little peace and quiet. Been there... doing that.

If you are happy without a romantic entanglement now, you would be risking your current lifestyle for a boatload of possible problems. If you are not happy with your current situation, then by all means, embrace change.

All that said, I am quite happy now that my wife has finished training me. :salute:

Dick

[b52bob]

Take it slow but go for it.

It took me 25 years and two marriages to find my soul mate. Believe me, it's worth it!

[HouseHobbit]

Thanks all very much, there is a lot to think about here..
She asked me to dinner for tomorrow nite (Sat).
Yea She asked me, I would have never suggested this.. Not how I am..

I need to decide quickly here if I can have Her to take me to dinner..
That is something that is new to me.. never had a "Human" Woman ask me out to dinner before..
And as they call it Here, on a Saturday (date Nite)

She knows my position and how I really am, so She asked me out, as she said, I once turned Her down..( in High School to go to dinner Her treat) Now I can make it up..
( didn't think it proper for a girl to pay for a mans dinner back then).
AND SHE REMEMBERS all of this too..

But I am not the type to look backwards, I tend to always face forwards..
Not that I have a problem with the past, it has help make who I am today..
But as I know you can't go back..
And I have never wanted to Go back..

I will decide in the next few hours.
I have to call her to tell Her if I am free..

( I guess, I am free, just not cheap or easy)
Okay, I am Cheap and Easy.. :icon_eek:
Never Mind...:icon34:

[OBIO]

House Hobbit

Trust me...you're free. You live in Dayton and the Air Force Museum is just about the only thing in town worth putting on clean underwear for.....at it closes at 5pm! You're free for dinner. And yeah....it's perfectly fine...and preferable actually...to let the lady pay for the night out.

OBIO

[Dangerousdave26]

Hobbit before you go take a moment to listen to one of our lost friends and champion of the Male fraternity.

Sam Kinison

JuA0Xm2cy1s

[HouseHobbit]

Sam Kinison, He was such a ball..
Thanks..
Not to worry I have no Plans for any marriage..A friend is always nice..
But Not even to the point of doing anything else..
Thank God..

[Curtis P40]

Be careful ! Thirty plus years ago a woman asked me out...and we've been together ever since. :jump: Good Luck

[muddobber]

Everything is a circle.Humans are incomplete without someone special in their lives.I think it is most important for people to be alike in regard as to whether they are both day or night people.Folks on a different biological clocks can't have a meaningful relationship..opposites attract, good for magnets,folly for people.

[HouseHobbit]

Here it is for all..
I am going to use some common sense in all of this I hope..

As in all things, I have Known many people.. But only a few who are friends..
Folks with a kind heart and truthful life are hard to find sometimes..
But once found They are more precious then Gold..

I am not a fool or looking at life with Rose Colored Glasses on..
And I don't carry my heart on my sleeve..


I think as I have learned what is best to do is keep Her at "Arms Length"
A friend always..

I Was never "In Love" with Her..
That's why when I left for the Army a lifetime ago, it was over as a romance..

I will admit I do Love Her..Like my sister, But I am not "In Love" with Her..
I think there is a Big difference..

That's how it is for a Hobbit..

Thanks for everyone's kind Help and Advice:
To All..
God Bless,
Owen

[Willy]

After the break up of my first marriage, I caught back up with a woman who I've known since we were kids. We'd been friends since Jr High and just kind of gravitated to each other. For the next few years we were pretty much inseperable. But the thing is this. Neither of us were looking for a relationship, just had fun being together as friends. Both of us were recently out of disasterous marriages and it did us both good just being best friends. She eventually started seeing someone else and I met Mrs Willy while on a road trip with her. We're still great friends to this day, just don't see as much of each other as we did when we were single and realize that our friendship is worth more than a relationship would have been.

Just take it slow and see where things lead. Old friends are the best ones.

[HouseHobbit]

Went out last night with my Friend.. had a good time, a nice Chinese dinner, and had a nice
long talk..
I do feel sorry for Her, a daughter who she is at odds with..
Raising Her grand children because of her daughters drug and mental problems..
And a crazy sister, Who I also share a long friendship with..

I am grateful for the time together, But too much baggage..
WOW..

I will remain her friend, we spoke last nite when I called to speak about all of this between us..
She asked if we could have dinner together, instead of waiting..
I said yes, so off I went..

Even put on my one clean shirt..:icon_lol:

And yes like always my old soft heart was deeply touched by all of this..
I am truly heart broken to hear and see how things are for Her..
She is a nice and kind Lady, who does deserve better..
I can't heal Her problems..

I will Be Her Friend as I have always been..
Thank God, my life is much more quiet..
And I do Pray her life will be better.. I will talk and help Her as I can with my support and with a Honest, Caring.. Ear..
Like most males, I want to fix everything..
I know from years of Being a friend and adviser to many
It is best just to listen most of the time..
I think I will Pray Lots, and keep My Hobbit Life..

Thanks all for your kind caring advice..

[txnetcop]

Hobbit you are one smart man!!!! BRAVO!:applause::applause::applause:
Ted

[HouseHobbit]

I shall admit, after all the dust has settled, She is lovely.. And a wonderful person..
BUT I AM HAPPY WITH MY HOBBIT LIFE..
Yes, I do life alone, and I will die alone..
But it is my choice..

And I like being able to make such choices without having to be worried about what someone else may think or want...
I will as I can be Her friend as I have always been for a life time..
But I am Not ready to go back to High School and be Her "boyfriend"..

I walked away a lifetime ago from this..
And as they do say, You can't go back..

So, I wore my only clean shirt Too, does it count if I don't wash it??
Only wore it once you know..