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View Full Version : Throwing in the towel and getting a divorce!


OBIO
March 16th, 2011, 20:47
Tonight was the night that the final straw was strawed. My marriage is now beyond the point of no return. Tomorrow I will be calling a divorce attorney and ending this train wreck.

Why? Did Deb have an affair with someone better looking than me. NO...even though 93% of the US population is better looking than I am. Did Deb sell my most secret of secrets to some tabloid magazine. NO...my most secret of secrets aren't worth a hill of beans. Did Deb throw away my most comfortable pair of worn out boxer shorts...the ones with more holes than fabric and the 1/2 inch thick skid mark encrustation? It's far worser than that!

What she did is this:

While organizing the kitchen pantry, she took her half eaten bag of fat free, sodium free, flavor free, baked pine twig looking pretzel sticks and dumped them into...AND ON TOP OF...my half eaten bag of Andy Capp Hot Fries!

The unmitigated gall! The blazen disregard for human decency!

I know that once I tell my heart braking tell in court, there isn't a divorce judge in the country who will not side with me and grant me a full divorce...and award me both dogs, the 42 inch Plasma 1080p TV and the garage door opener.

OBIO
mrogers
March 16th, 2011, 21:15
Are you serious? A divorce over a bag of junk food? My sis (she's single) sounds similiar to Deb, she can get a bit carried away sometimes!
Kiwikat
March 16th, 2011, 21:19
Are you serious?

OBIO serious? WHEN!? :173go1: :icon_lol:
Jagdflieger
March 16th, 2011, 22:34
Ha ha! That's a hoot. How could Deb treat you that way????

Throw the dog out, crash the car, max out the credit cards... but don't mix flavorless-fat-free snacks with man's food. The unmitigated gall!
Astoroth
March 16th, 2011, 23:16
Hey Tim, I'll be your "manfood" Expert Witness!! :wiggle:
stansdds
March 17th, 2011, 00:45
Obio, you had me going there for a minute. :icon_lol:
papab
March 17th, 2011, 01:56
You forgot the TV remote!
yank51
March 17th, 2011, 03:32
She didn't leave the toilet seat down again, did she??:toilet:
txnetcop
March 17th, 2011, 03:54
Been divorced a couple of times over some of the same issues Tim...come to find out they all do it!!!! LOL the unmitigated gall of touching our manfood...
Ted
brad kaste
March 17th, 2011, 05:50
Wow,....dumping some 'save-a-calorie' dumb pretzels top of the man's Andy Capp Hot Fries? Yep,...sounds like a serious marital issue you've got on your hands Tim. However, I'm sure you'll be able to work this issue out before seeing a counselor. About the only thing that would be worse if Deb dumped the stuff on top of a giant bowl of fried Cheetoes,....not baked ones.
mksystem
March 17th, 2011, 06:30
Simply cover the whole works with cheese and enjoy!:jump:
txnetcop
March 17th, 2011, 06:46
Simply cover the whole works with cheese and enjoy!:jump:

LMAO well it is cheaper than a divorce...and more palatable!:ernae:
Ted
Cazzie
March 17th, 2011, 07:04
LMAO well it is cheaper than a divorce...and more palatable!:ernae:
Ted

Alright guys, I've spotted! LMAO!

But you know what they say about why divorse is so expensive...

Because it's worth it! :icon_lol:

Running for cover in case my wife sees this!

Caz
Daveroo
March 17th, 2011, 09:47
whut the hecks an andy cap hot fry?............and about those encrusted undies...i was withsome one who had that everyday in real life and i did the laundry....most digusting thing i ever saw and she wanted me to do her panties by hand.....i just laughed and tossed em ( with a pair of tongs) into the washer.........found out from her daughter years later she had a colonoscopy at age 40.....
Thoe6969
March 17th, 2011, 10:40
whut the hecks an andy cap hot fry?............and about those encrusted undies...i was withsome one who had that everyday in real life and i did the laundry....most digusting thing i ever saw and she wanted me to do her panties by hand.....i just laughed and tossed em ( with a pair of tongs) into the washer.........found out from her daughter years later she had a colonoscopy at age 40..... Shurly you jest,or have led a very sheltered life.Andy Caps hot fries,I grew up on them.The things people miss out on.
txnetcop
March 17th, 2011, 10:52
Alright guys, I've spotted! LMAO!

But you know what they say about why divorse is so expensive...

Because it's worth it! :icon_lol:

Running for cover in case my wife sees this!

Caz


hey Cazzie you really believe you'll get away with it...I have your phone number for a fee I won't call her! LOL
Prowler1111
March 17th, 2011, 15:10
Well, my wife better stay away from my hole infested, skid mark free (honest, but mostly due to detergent abuse), "donīt worry be happy" faces covered pair of boxers dating from mid 90īs which have survived 4 girfriends, one move over and currently my marriage...

Prowler
stansdds
March 18th, 2011, 02:12
Simply cover the whole works with cheese and enjoy!:jump:
Brilliant! :jump:
Little Chacha
March 18th, 2011, 08:42
Sorry to hear about the divorce things...............My Mom and Dad got divorced when I was four and a half...... I still miss them together...... But when they are together, I feel squished inside, Mom is not happy to see Dad, She is happy to see all her friends but the sight of Dad - I can hear her teeth grind sometimes :) I wish my Mom get to find a person that will not hurt her feelings. But I know she is happy this way. Mr. OBIO, maybe you can think it over before you get a divorce. My Dad regret to get one, but Mom said it way to late to change heart. I remember praying for Ms. Deb and you and for your fathers in law. I will pray for your decision and Ms. Deb too! All your children will be sad to see you too separate ways. I say children but i know you know what I mean little puppies.... and big dogs.
HouseHobbit
March 18th, 2011, 08:58
I had the pleasure to speak with OBIO on skype, the Divorce has be averted..:applause:
A new bag of hot fries has been delivered. and all is well in the world..:applause:

As long as the hot fries hold out there will be peace and happy Hot Fries munchies (Unspoiled by Girl Food) for the deprived....
And there was MUCH Rejoicing..:jump:
May peace and happy days bless those who now have "unspoiled" Hot fries... Forever..
Little Chacha
March 21st, 2011, 08:45
I wiped my tears, and I am happy for Mr. OBIO and Ms. Deb!!!!!! (Mom said, do not believe everything you read on the World Wide Web. She was right!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hannah. :wavey:
Lewis-A2A
March 21st, 2011, 11:41
LMAO Obio, though I am confused how people took this seriously! :173go1:


Anyway, easy to get her back,.... next time she says the thing all women say "does my bum look big in this?",....


....you know what to say :salute: lol
OBIO
March 21st, 2011, 12:52
LMAO Obio, though I am confused how people took this seriously! :173go1:


Anyway, easy to get her back,.... next time she says the thing all women say "does my bum look big in this?",....


....you know what to say :salute: lol

Lewis

You're right...I do know what to say...."No, honey! It looks wonderful on you."

If I say anything else...I will end up with two black eyes, a fractured nose, a tooth or two knocked loose....and I don't see how any of those are payback for having pretzel rods dumped on top of my Hot Fries.

Tim