WalMart Wines

[Willy]

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Walmart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of CALIFORNIA to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said, "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand.
The top 10 surveyed names in order of popularity are:

>10. Chateau Traileur Parc
>9. White Trashfindel
>8. Big Red Gulp
>7. World Championship Riesling
>6. NASCARbernet
>5. Chef Boyardeaux
>4. Peanut Noir
>3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
>2. Grape Expectations
>1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).






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[Splat]

Thanks Willy, laughed myself into a new pair of shorts with that one!

Bob

[Henry]

sounds like my drink:costumes:
H

[Ferry_vO]

Sounds like what we call a 'Chateau Migraine' over here. :costumes:

[MaskRider]

Speaking of Chateau Migrane and changing the subject just a little.

I had a friend tell me the other day that she could not drink wine from any bottle of wine that was priced under $12 because the impurities in such "low" priced wines give her migrane headaches. And she was serious- she said it as though it were an established scientific fact.

Is that really true? Low price wine brings on headaches?


Over dinner we had a couple of glasses from an $8 bottle that I swore was $13 and all seemed well. I mean normally I am a Two Buck Chuck kind of guy, but that evening felt that I would go steppin out and really put on the dog!

I always thought that drinking too much of any wine will give one a headache. Personnally I can't do more than 3 glasses and that has to have a good meal sandwiched in the middle someplace.

But, could I swill down even more if I were drinking say from a higher class $24 bottle?

Seriously, I am curious, does lower price wine = higher risk of headaches?

:D

Cheers,
Chris

[Sailor]

What's the word? Thunderbird, what's the price? 40 twice.

[mississippi]

He He . :icon29: :icon29: :costumes: :sheep:

[robconroy]

Good grief, Thunderbird! Do they still make it? You used to be able to get it over here, but I've not seen it for ages. It was quite nice when I was 15. But then so was neat Cinzano outside the school disco.

Walmart own Asda (ASsociated DAiries, trivia fans) over here and they have quite a good wine selection. Wife Beater Zinfandel is a particularly nice vintage.

[robconroy]

Or the Rheinland classic, Pisspoorter

[Sailor]

Some convienient store classics:

Winchester 30 30, White Rocket, Night train express, MD (various flavors).

[Real Old Salt]

What's the word? Thunderbird, what's the price? 40 twice.

I'm sure if Thunderbird was the leader in cheap wines. Probably. A close second had to be "Ripple"

[Real Old Salt]

Brad makes Mulberry wine, not too bad, a bit sweet!!
Goes well with burgers in the backyard!!:costumes:

:) On them?

[Real Old Salt]

Why would you put burgers in a mason jar? :costumes:

[Sandydog]

And what if you're not a Mason? Will an Elks or Moose jar do? How about a Shriner mug?

[Real Old Salt]

And what if you're not a Mason? Will an Elks or Moose jar do? How about a Shriner mug?

Kimber isn't going like us anymore:costumes:
<bgsound src="http://www.sim-outhouse.com/music/danger.mid">

[Pursuivant]

Is that really true? Low price wine brings on headaches?

Warning: I'm not a physician or even a food chemist or nutritionist, just a home-brewer. Take my opinions with a grain of salt and/or your favorite beverage.

This is my experience, backed up by my readings on the subject:

Any "young" alcohol will tend to have a lot of esters, ketones and/or "higher" alcohols produced as a result of the fermentation process. Collectively, these compounds are known as "conjoiners." As wine/beer/liquor ages, these compounds gradually break down into simpler compounds, producing a "smoother" flavor and fewer conjoiners. This is why you pay more for vintage wine or 12-year-old single malt, as opposed to cheap table wine or bottom-shelf bourbon.

Beyond that, any dark-colored or highly-flavored alcoholic beverage gives you a worse hangover compared to "light" or "white" beverages, just because the latter types of drinks have fewer flavor and coloring compounds.

If you want to avoid a hangover due to overindulgence avoid red wine, dark beers and highly-flavored liquors (e.g., sherry, port, highly colored and/or flavored liqueurs). All of these beverages have a higher percentage of conjoiners, which contribute to hangover symptoms. Ideally, the best way to get drunk and still avoid a hangover is to drink pure ethanol diluted in water to approximately beer or wine strength (4-11% alcohol by volume).

On a practical level, if you're going to drink heavily, drink one 12 oz. glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have and make sure that you get lots of vitamin-rich foods, such as fruits or veggies, while you drink. If possible, make sure you get lots of potassium salts (in the form of "no sodium" salt or sports drinks), since lack of potassium increases your body's perception of muscle aches and contributes to hangover symptoms.

Cheap wines tend to be fermented at higher temperatures (faster production speed) and/or made from poorer-quality grapes, both of which contribute to the creation of conjoiners. While there is no fixing either of these problems, if aged, eventually cheap wines will smooth out a bit, although they'll never be as good as a wine made from high-quality grapes and fermented under proper conditions.

Fortified wines (e.g., Thunderbird, MD20/20, Boone's Farm) have flavorings, colorings and/or ethanol added to them to improve their flavor and increase their alcohol percentage. These wines are made as quickly and cheaply as possible, with an emphasis on alcohol content rather than flavor. In addition to tasting nasty, they also have a vast number of conjoiners, guaranteed to give you a wicked hangover.

If you know what to choose, there is no reason not to go for an inexpensive or moderately-priced wine or beer. "Popularly priced" table wines are almost as good as more highly-priced wines. In some cases, the difference in price is due to vintage (aging and initial grape quality). If you find a cheap wine that you like, consider buying several cases and storing them in a cool (ideally cellar temperature) environment. In several years, you'll have a delicious wine at a fraction of the cost you'd pay for in the store.

As for beers, if your tastes run to anything other than Bud/Miller/Coors or one of the other American light lagers, consider giving one of the American microbrews a try. In most cases, these beers compare favorably to European imports both in price and flavor.

If you like beer, but are only familiar with the light lagers produced by the North American megacorporations, you owe it to yourself to try one of the microbrew or regional brands. You might be surprised at the difference in body and flavor between a craft-brewed beer and what you're been drinking. As a bonus, microbrewed beers usually have better nutritional value (high in B vitamins) and sometimes have a higher alcohol content compared to the big name brews. As a suggestion, go for beers designated as "golden"and/or "lager" - they'll be closer to what you think of as being "beer."

[Pursuivant]

Couldn't be worse than "two buck chuck".

My choices for names:

Ro:tnecken Reisling
Social Security Shiraz
Chateau Wally
White Trash White
Redneck Red
Pabst Blue Ribbon Burgundy
Moon Pie Montrachet
Champagne du Klan
Billy Joe's Reserve

[Willy]

Interesting read there Pursivant. I used to make a lot of homemade wine and moonshine whiskey when I was a teenager (the whiskey was with my grandpa teaching me the family "business"). I've still got his kitchen stovetop model cookpot that he used in his later years after a "forced retirement" somewhere.

One thing I could never figure out about beers was why I could drink any beer but Budweiser & Busch and not get a headace. If I started drinking either of those, I'd have a ripsnorter of a headache about the time I finished the first one (I just nursed any beer along).

[robconroy]

I know what you mean, Willy. In the last few years I've started drinking "Real Ales" (and,no, before any brits start, I'm not in CAMRA, and I dont have a beard) rather than the mass produced stuff cos I get the worst hangovers. Interestingly though, most of what I drink these days are the dark beers that Pursuivant warns against, & unless I seriously overindulge (not unknown!) I'm fine. It's when I drink stuff like Stella Artois (Known as "Wifebeater" in these parts!), Carling or the mass produced bitters that I get a bad hangover, and they are doozies, they can last for upto 2 days. I'm Ok with Becks & Lowenbrau though, so it's not a strength issue if I'm only drinking 1 or 2. :icon29: :icon29:

I used to make my own wine too. Council Estate Chardonnay.

[SdC]

brrrrrrrrr

[Willy]

robconroy, I never cared much for Stella Artois either. I had a Belgian tell me once that they export their worst beer, Stella being the #1 beer export from Belgium ;). I prefered Jupilier and Rodenbach when I lived near Oostende. My now ex-wife liked Kriek, a beer with a cherry flavor to it.

[Henry]

I know what you mean, Willy. In the last few years I've started drinking "Real Ales" (and,no, before any brits start, I'm not in CAMRA, and I dont have a beard) Council Estate Chardonnay.
i see, ill say nothing
coming from a council estate
and love real ale
hard to stomack American beer
but have only had one hangover in my life
that was after a couple bottles of Gin:)
i have a friend here who brews his own ale its great
as long as i still can get ole pequiliar here im happy
H:icon29:

[Real Old Salt]

I guess I'm un-American. I don't care much for beer. Once in awhile maybe a Murphy's or two.....or three.:)

Now if'n you'd like to start discussing the finer bourbons.............
or gins

[von Bek]

Aaaahhhh Old Peculier

http://www.theakstons.co.uk/LA/ClassicAles.htm

Beer is good but only Old Peculier is good for your soul.....

[Henry]

yup i used to go to the Alexander Palace
beer festival ole pequiliar, bishops tipple,
and belhavens where my favorites
asked for a pint of Belhavens once the gentleman said are you sure
you dont want a half pint, not me im big and tough
teach me not to listen:costumes:
all i can get here is theakstons
and guinness, newcastle brown from time to time,
actually i dont drink much beer as there are no pubs here
and it just aint the same
H

[von Bek]

Belhaven is good stuff. I like Theakston a lot though.

My favourite beer is Cotleighs Tawny closely followed by Exmoor Gold and Theakstons XB.

Haven't seen a pint of any of those 3 for over a year although they did have Exmoor Beast on at the beer festival in Baldock recently. Beast is a bit strong for me though - 6.6% I think. :icon_eek:

[Real Old Salt]

Aaaahhhh Old Peculier

http://www.theakstons.co.uk/LA/ClassicAles.htm

Beer is good but only Old Peculier is good for your soul.....
:costumes: Right after I posted I got a notifing email from SOH saying VB had posted something about Old Peculiar.

Got my attention!:costumes:

[Henry]

:costumes: Right after I posted I got a notifing email from SOH saying VB had posted something about Old Peculiar.

Got my attention!:costumes:
but its not salty:costumes:
only pecquliar:icon29:
H

[Pursuivant]

One thing I could never figure out about beers was why I could drink any beer but Budweiser & Busch and not get a headace. If I started drinking either of those, I'd have a ripsnorter of a headache about the time I finished the first one (I just nursed any beer along).

Never tried distilling, although it's on my list of things to do.

I have no idea why a mild lager like Bud or Busch would give you a headache. The main thing I can think of is that you might have an allergy with corn or rice, or one of the compounds it gets fermented into (other than alcohol, of course). Cheap beers use a lot of corn (maize for you non-Yanks) because it's cheap. American light lagers use a fair amount of rice because it's almost as cheap as corn and ferments without adding much to the flavor or body of the beer besides alcohol.

I'd seriously doubt that you have an allergy to corn, unless all the "white lightning" you drank was made from sugar. Alternately, possibly the "headache" ingredients in your corn whiskey went down the sink with the first runnings (the higher alcohols and other nasty stuff that comes off the distilled mash first).

It's possible that you might have a problem with DME (dimethyl esters) which are commonly found in lager-style beers. In high quality lagers the taste isn't overpowering and can actually help make a beer taste "crisper." In the bad stuff, they add to that distinct "cheap beer" taste. From what I've heard, Busch has gone downhill considerably from what it was (and it was never that great), so you might just have a problem with whatever they put into cheap beer - in some cases they add artificial colors and flavorings. Bud, believe it or not is a "premium" product (it takes an incredible amount of skill and technology to produce an American-style "light" lager). The grain used to make Bud is about 10% corn, 20% rice and the rest is a special type of barley malt that helps convert the corn and rice starches into sugars that the yeast can ferment.

Other than that, I'm stumped, but like I said, I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, nor do I play one on TV.

[Pursuivant]

I know what you mean, Willy. In the last few years I've started drinking "Real Ales" (and,no, before any brits start, I'm not in CAMRA, and I dont have a beard)


(CAMRA, for the rest of the world, is the CAMpaign for Real Ale, a British microbrew/anti-corporate movement. It evolved in response to the fact that just a few UK brewers control most of the pubs there.)

Strange how US and UK perceptions of Homebrewing differ. In the US, you can go to any gathering of homebrewers and the dominant philosophy will be more liberatarian than socialist. Beyond that, homebrewers are not unlike the people at Sim-Outhouse: different ages, different walks of life, but mostly male with above-average IQ. It's my impression that, in the States, homebrewing is seen as being more eccentric hobby for geeks rather than anything else. It doesn't have the "country" or "peasant" associations that it does in many other parts of the world.

Another oddity is that in the US (hard) cider is seen as something of a premium product. Cider-makers are trying to market it as a "malternative" or "alcopop" brand in competition with things like Zima. In the UK, I got the impression that it still has a reputation as a "blue-collar" or "hick" beverage, not unlike Pabst Blue Ribbon or moonshine would be perceived here.

[Pursuivant]

robconroy, I never cared much for Stella Artois either. I had a Belgian tell me once that they export their worst beer, Stella being the #1 beer export from Belgium ;). I prefered Jupilier and Rodenbach when I lived near Oostende. My now ex-wife liked Kriek, a beer with a cherry flavor to it.

If you live in a state that has decent distributors and sensible liquor laws, you can get the good stuff in the US - albeit at premium prices. Just a couple of days ago, my wife and I split a large bottle of Rodenbach Grand Cru.

Belgian beers are some of the strangest and tastiest on the planet, although something of a shock if you're not used to them. They break all the rules of what most people consider to be "beer" - dark colored, sour, cloudy, often fruit-flavored. A friend of mine jokingly claims that WWI and WWII were conspiracies by the Bavarian brewers (the people responsible for the Reinheitsgebot beer purity laws and lager beer) to exterminate lambics (sour, cloudy Belgian beers).

And I agree, Stella Artois is the dimmest star in the heaven that is Belgian beer.

[Pursuivant]

yup i used to go to the Alexander Palace
beer festival ole pequiliar, bishops tipple,
and belhavens where my favorites

What do you British Isles folks think of Samuel Smith's products (Samuel Smith's Nut Brown, India Pale Ale, Taddy Porter, etc.)? A number of US beer snobs consider it to be the best thing to come out of England since the industrial revolution. Personally, I think it's fine stuff, but not the world's best.

It's very hard to get truly good British beer in the US. Some bars will have the big ale brands on draft (e.g., Newcastle Brown, Guiness) but mostly it sold in bottles, which suffer badly in transit. For some inexplicable reason, breweries ship their beer in pale green or clear bottles that allow the stuff inside to get light-struck. And, because it's sold as a premium product, some retailers keep imported beer well beyond its "sell-by" date.

Mercifully, where I am now, it's possible to get fresh, well-kept ales on draft/draught. Expensive, but still cheaper than a European vacation.

[MaskRider]

Great thread!

I know nada about this sort of stuff. So its very informative to me.

I have never been much of a beer drinker- after reading thru this thread maybe I am beginning to see why. Might have to broaden my horizons and seek out some of these benchmark beverages. :D

Thanks! Keep it going! :icon29:

Cheers,
Chris

[robconroy]

What do you British Isles folks think of Samuel Smith's products (Samuel Smith's Nut Brown, India Pale Ale, Taddy Porter, etc.)? A number of US beer snobs consider it to be the best thing to come out of England since the industrial revolution. Personally, I think it's fine stuff, but not the world's best.

Yeah, Sam Smiths is good stuff, but Theakstons is better IMHO, as are Jennings (Snecklifter) and Coniston (Bluebird Bitter, named after Malcolm Campbells boat, is a truly excellent beer).

There is a pub in Liverpool, The Ship & Mitre, that has at least 10 real ales on at any time, & runs regular beer festivals. It's gas lit & a bit scruffy, but theres always Krieks, porters, Weissbiers, all sorts of stuff. When the present Mrs Rob goes shopping I get her to leave me there for a couple of hours & have a few samples. You can have a good selection & not get too squiffy, cos they'll serve a third of a pint. You can lay a foundation with bratwurst & a roll for £1.00.

There was an article on the news this morning that 88 new breweries opened up last year in Britain, which just goes to show how much of a market there is for "Artisan" beers to challenge the mass produced stuff.

Cider is generally seen as a bit of a kids drink (especially mixed with blackcurrant cordial), either that or what the tramp on the park bench has in a 3 litre bottle! But there are exceptions, such as Westons (there are more, but not being a cider drinker, cant think of any more) that produce "Premium" ciders.

I remember once visiting a friend of the present Mrs Rob in Somerset, & we went to a cider house for a drink. Naturally, being in the spiritual home of cider, I asked the barman what his best cider was " Arrr, it be this one, but it's a bit Grockle this year" "Oh, Ok, I'll have a pint of that then, please", I didn't know what "grockle" meant & I certainly wasn't going to show my ignorance to the barman. Anyway he pulled this pint, straight from the cask, of scrumpy that was so cloudy it was virtually opaque. I went back to the table & asked our friend what "Grockle" meant. "It means someone not from round here, so he means that the cider's more for the tourists than the hardcore "zoider" drinkers". Well, God knows what the real stuff was like but this was absolutley disgusting, like apple vinegar. And I had a pint of the stuff. And everyone in the pub was watching me by now, probably had been since we walked in actually, a la "The Slaughtered Lamb".

Anyway, I struggled through it, with real fear as to what it was doing to my insides, Mrs Rob & her mate laughing their heads off at me, & the barman making regular trips past our table to check on my progress. When I finished & took the empties up to the bar the barman asked me what I thought. " Aye, you were right, it is a bit Grockle" I replied, loud enough for all the regulars to hear. Cue round of applause & slaps on the back. "You'll do mate" said one of them " hardly anyone ever manages a full pint of that stuff, even locals."
I had a bitter next.

[CybrSlydr]

Here ya go! :D

http://www.bumwine.com/

[warbirdlover]

There was a beer you could get in Wisconsin years ago called "Bullfrog" beer. You bought it in big quart bottles, LOL. A friend used to actually buy it and drink it.

[robconroy]

i see, ill say nothing
coming from a council estate
and love real ale
hard to stomack American beer
but have only had one hangover in my life
that was after a couple bottles of Gin:)
i have a friend here who brews his own ale its great
as long as i still can get ole pequiliar here im happy
H:icon29:

Sorry Henry, none intended!. I had my formative years on a council estate, too.

BTW, they don't even bother to export Stella to the UK anymore, it's brewed here under licence, ditto Bud, ditto Michelob, ditto Fosters, ditto ad infinitum.

Finding a real imported beer in the UK, apart from Becks & Leffe & some others is really difficult.

What's Sam Adams stuff like?

[Henry]

Sorry Henry, none intended!. I had my formative years on a council estate, too.



What's Sam Adams stuff like?
none taken:)
Sam Adams is good
probably not for export to UK
it doesnt match up to UK ale:icon29:
H