Oh What Foul times are these..In ARMS HERE...

[HouseHobbit]

Oh What foul times are these when the Innocent Garden Gnomes are under threat!!!
To Arms I say...

It is time for ALL Brave men to come to the aid of Gnomes!!!
Where is my Sting!!!

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/crime/garden-gnomes-reported-stolen-958030.html

We Hobbits shall yet save the endangered Garden Gnome..:jump:

[Clarke123]

Gnomes might just be the start. If I were you I'd chain myself down just in case the hobbits are next. :running::icon_lol:

[Navy Chief]

My ex wife's niece lives in a housing division where they have rules that prohibit "Garden Gnomes", because they are considered tacky. If I lived there (fat chance), I would have a colorful collection in my front yard JUST to spite the bas.....ds.

NC

[TeaSea]

Wait a minute.....

Were these garden gnomes kidnapped?



Or did they make a break for it?

[ndicki]

There is a pestilence upon this land...

[Navy Chief]

Wait a minute.....

Were these garden gnomes kidnapped?



Or did they make a break for it?

Now THAT is funny!

[Navy Chief]

If my property could be seen from the road (which it can't); I would put several of those plastic pink flamingos in my yard........

[Mickey D]

Once woke up to see half a dozen garden gnomes queueing at the bus stop over the road. They must have hopped on the next bus as they'd gone 10 mins later. :icon_lol:

[jmig]

I take delight in using long rifle 22's to pick em off. Can be great sport. The little buggers are quicker than they look to be. The secret is to anticipate which way they will jump and lead them a little.

:bump:

[Navy Chief]

Once woke up to see half a dozen garden gnomes queueing at the bus stop over the road. They must have hopped on the next bus as they'd gone 10 mins later. :icon_lol:


Oh, this post is becoming more "imaginative" by the minute. LOVE IT!

NC

[Terry]

I take delight in using long rifle 22's to pick em off. Can be great sport. The little buggers are quicker than they look to be. The secret is to anticipate which way they will jump and lead them a little.

:bump:

'What's the perfect way to cook a Gnome?'

One might say; "First tie it up in Goldshire for one hour to numb it's mind, then let an ogre sit on it, then dip it into a pot full of chicken soup with an extra portion of gnome hands, for 30 minutes to make sure it's dead and add a good taste, then throw it into an extra hot part of Molten Core for a long time to roast it before throwing it into a large pot of boiling water, add potatoes, carrots, strawberries, tomatoes, a pinch of salt, and boil for 1 hour."

Another may argue; "Scalp it and leave the skin; it makes a good hors d'oeuvre. Remove the head and light an open fire, in a clearing with something high up to hang the body from. Dangle the skinless Gnome from a rope and let it roast over the flames. Turn over when necessary."

[ndicki]

I roll mine up in clay and bake them in the embers of the fire. They make a delicious porky smell while cooking, and the flesh is deliciously tender and succulent. I catch them in the garden with rat-traps bailed with thimbles of Scotch whisky. Extremely effective.

[Clarke123]

PROOF!!! 20349


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myXKuzKN7Sc

And here's the kidnapping. Be warned it contains graphic footage of Gnome abuse. :bump:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR0uspyvaQk

[Navy Chief]

Oh, and by the way, I hate those Travelocity commercials with that stupid gnome.

NC

[pilottj]

you know Chief a toiletbowl planter is always a nice lawn decoration :icon_lol:

20354

[OBIO]

I don't trust Garden Gnomes...not at all. There is one that lives in my flower garden and that little theiving bloke continually tries to carry off the giant Diamond and Ruby that I keep in the garden. I have caught him red handed so many times, and have taken pictures of him as he was being arrested.....little grubby hands in the air, a smirk on his face and the loot at his feet. I have trained my two dogs to attack the Garden Gnome on sight. Everytime I take them out for a potty, the first thing they do is stick their little noses in the air and catch the scent of the Garden Gnone. Once they have his scent, they are off like rifle bullets...straight into the garden after the plump faced bugger. Oh, the sounds he makes when one or both of the dog get a hold of him. Nothing quite as funny as hearing a Garden Gnome cussing at an 8 pound Chihuahua as she shakes him about by his pointy little hat.

OBIO

[Brian_Gladden]

I have a friend who flies Helitack for the USFS (on contract) and has a Gnome as his copilot. Took a while for Timothy (The Gnome ) to get checked out in Jetrangers since he has trouble reaching the controls....

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/LaFonda/m5.jpg

[wildcat]

The ones that have fishing rods are the worst,they wait until you have partaken in the amber nectar:icon29:, then attack you when you get home.:isadizzy:

[Bjoern]

Looks like the flamingoes wanted revenge...

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-pictures-the-lawn-gnomes-have-beaten-the-pink-flamingos.jpg

[ndicki]

I actually have a cordon of AP mines around my veg patch to keep the little baskets out. Of course, you have to tweak the mines (don't tell Princess Diana...) because otherwise, anything less than about 35 kg won't set them off*. The added value bit is that next door's dog has had to drag himself home minus a limb more than once... Can't stand my neighbours. They're French. Actually, nearly everybody in this country is. Odd...

* If some whining lefty starts telling your that abandoned AP mines are blowing bits off poor little African (et al) children, then two things come to mind. First, why do their parents left them play with them in the first place, but more importantly, how is that possible? If they weigh enough to set off an AP mine, then clearly at 35-45 kg they aren't as undernourished as they make out they are. So next time they start whining about the number of one-legged children in the village, cut the food aid. You'll be doing them a favour.

[Dain Arns]

I have a friend who flies Helitack for the USFS (on contract) and has a Gnome as his copilot. Took a while for Timothy (The Gnome ) to get checked out in Jetrangers since he has trouble reaching the controls....



Love the Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops... :icon_lol:

[Mickey D]

I roll mine up in clay and bake them in the embers of the fire. They make a delicious porky smell while cooking, and the flesh is deliciously tender and succulent. I catch them in the garden with rat-traps bailed with thimbles of Scotch whisky. Extremely effective.

We roast ours over the white hot embers of a buffalo dung fire after first stuffing with sage and onion. Slow roast for about 4 hours turning the spit regularly whilst basting with a good red wine and Bisto granules. The gravy is out of this world but the dripping on a slice of wholemeal bread on a frosty morning is something else. Mmmmm!

[Navy Chief]

you know Chief a toiletbowl planter is always a nice lawn decoration :icon_lol:

20354

Yeah, when I was married, my wife wanted not just a toilet, but a purple one. Not happening. As it was, she had an antique bed pan for a planter on my porch. Needless to say it ain't there now.

[TeaSea]

I'm sort of partial to Gnome myself....

The trick is to bonk 'em on the head, wrap them in banana leaves, then hang them outside on the Lanai for a few days to tenderize.

When they're good and ripe, unwrap them, gut 'em, stuff them with rice and pineapple, slow roast them over hickory for about two days, then garnish 'em with a good mango salsa. Wonderful!

Of course, being porcelain they are a little tough, so be prepared.

Now, my recipe for Hobbit is......

[Snuffy]

I'll send my reinforcements!

20425

[Piglet]

I did pretty good today...20447

[TeaSea]

Good shot....


Now you can go strap them to the hood of your truck....on in the Gnome's case, a Toyota Prius.

[HouseHobbit]

:jump:AGGGH...
We little people aren't impressed...:icon_lol:
We Hobbits (an army of one) will defend all Gnomes.

Sent the word out, Pixies are on the way, and all Gnomes are on Red alert..:tgun2:

Terrorist alert all the way up for Gnomes, Homeland security has been notified
Of the Threat level for Gromes..

Off to sharpen Sting...and have my "Mithril" shined up..:icon_lol:

Be warned your knee caps are open Game...:isadizzy:

On goes the Ring...:pop4:

[ndicki]

Oooh, Owen, have you got any fairies? I've always had this thing about fairies...

[Mickey D]

Oooh, Owen, have you got any fairies? I've always had this thing about fairies...

Hmmm! Right. Say ner moa!
Now Hobbits. They can be tough little beggars and a bit "stringy" but very tasty. After gutting they need to be "jugged" until the maggots start dropping off. I like Hobbit thighs casseroled with fresh root vegetables in a white wine stock with a dash of balsamic vinegar and bay leaves. Slow cook for 3 1/2 hours and serve with a vintage merlot. Delicious!

[Mickey D]

I was only joking Hobbits.........Honest. I don't really eat Hobbits..................They do fly well though.........PULL!!!:rocket: