SabreAce
September 21st, 2010, 06:52
I've been visiting SOH for years, and have seen just how much of a family everyone here is, and how everyone pulls together for people in need. Just never figured I'd be the one asking for the prayers. Long, rambling, somewhat incoherent thoughts to follow.
Last Tuesday, my mother tried to kill herself. My dad and I found her, and were able to keep her alive till the EMTs got there and took over. Physically, she's stable now. Mentally, as you might expect, is a whole other ball game. We've found out there's a great deal of stuff (mostly financial) that's been happening that she hid from all of us. There's the potential for some jail time for her, as some of it involves the finances at her previous job, and that we might be losing our house.
My wife is terrified to wake up now, because this is the second time this has happened to her (waking up to a suicide attempt). In 2003, her mother committed suicide. Now this. In a strange coincidence, the dates are a bit weird too - Tuesday, Sept 14 for my mother, and Tuesday, Oct 14 for my wifes.
I've visited my mother every night in the place they finally got her to on Thursday (rant about that to follow). She's an emotional wreck, and is convinced that even if someone manages to help her get her head on straight, she's going to be in jail for the rest of her life. Nothing any of us say is convincing her otherwise. Likewise, she's paranoid that we all secretly hate her for doing what she did, and even when we say that we all still love her, she's convinced we're going behind her back with each other about how horrible she is. Yesterday, she called me on my way to work, and asked if my dad had been saying anything about never letting her in the house again, and if he wanted her to go to jail. The man has been an absolute angel to her in the last week, and we just can't figure out what to say to her if the facts of the last week aren't enough for her to see.
Speaking of my dad, I have to say something about him. He and I were always a bit distant with each other for the first 20 or so years of my life, as he had an incredible temper, and spent more time terrifying me and spending time on his own than he did being a dad, so to speak. After I hit 21, we started forming a relationship again, which I wrote off as being that he didn't know how to be a dad to a kid, but he could be a friend with me as an adult. In this past week, I've found out that he's had regrets for years about how he was, and that it wasn't him thinking he and I could be adult friends, but rather that he'd committed himself to getting rid of the temper, and being my dad. I've seen a side of him in the last 7 days I always hoped for but never knew was in him. If there's one positive thing to come out of this, my dad and I have both put all of the past behind us and started fresh.
Now for that rant (and please note nothing here is intended to be political): My mother's attempt was Tuesday morning at 5:43 am (there's a time that's going to be burned into my head forever). She was rushed to the ER. By Tuesday afternoon, she was physically stable. Still having issues, but stable. Rather than getting her out to a place to start helping her deal with the mental and emotional issues that had led to this, they kept her in the ER until Thursday, all the while giving my dad and I the runaround as to why this was. On Thursday, they sent her to a place, which promised that, starting the next day, she would receive regular therapy sessions, medicinal treatment, and so forth. Since then, she's had 5 minutes with a psychiatrist, who gave her some anti-depressants...and that's it. There's been more "therapy" from me going to visit for her a couple of hours each night than there has been from any professionals. A week on from her attempt, and there's barely been anything done for her.
I'm not really sure where to go from here with everything. It's strange, in a way - my wife's mother's suicide back when she and I first met...then a couple years later, my best friend's mother tried twice (she's doing ok now, so we keep bringing her up to my mother as someone who got through everything), now this. Before, I was the "other guy", trying to get people through the turmoil, and now I'm "that guy" that's in it. So it's strange giving myself the advice that I've given other people before.
Right now, we're all just trying to keep things going a day at a time. I'm sorry for the length of this whole thing, but it's felt good to just kind of let some of it out.
Bill
Last Tuesday, my mother tried to kill herself. My dad and I found her, and were able to keep her alive till the EMTs got there and took over. Physically, she's stable now. Mentally, as you might expect, is a whole other ball game. We've found out there's a great deal of stuff (mostly financial) that's been happening that she hid from all of us. There's the potential for some jail time for her, as some of it involves the finances at her previous job, and that we might be losing our house.
My wife is terrified to wake up now, because this is the second time this has happened to her (waking up to a suicide attempt). In 2003, her mother committed suicide. Now this. In a strange coincidence, the dates are a bit weird too - Tuesday, Sept 14 for my mother, and Tuesday, Oct 14 for my wifes.
I've visited my mother every night in the place they finally got her to on Thursday (rant about that to follow). She's an emotional wreck, and is convinced that even if someone manages to help her get her head on straight, she's going to be in jail for the rest of her life. Nothing any of us say is convincing her otherwise. Likewise, she's paranoid that we all secretly hate her for doing what she did, and even when we say that we all still love her, she's convinced we're going behind her back with each other about how horrible she is. Yesterday, she called me on my way to work, and asked if my dad had been saying anything about never letting her in the house again, and if he wanted her to go to jail. The man has been an absolute angel to her in the last week, and we just can't figure out what to say to her if the facts of the last week aren't enough for her to see.
Speaking of my dad, I have to say something about him. He and I were always a bit distant with each other for the first 20 or so years of my life, as he had an incredible temper, and spent more time terrifying me and spending time on his own than he did being a dad, so to speak. After I hit 21, we started forming a relationship again, which I wrote off as being that he didn't know how to be a dad to a kid, but he could be a friend with me as an adult. In this past week, I've found out that he's had regrets for years about how he was, and that it wasn't him thinking he and I could be adult friends, but rather that he'd committed himself to getting rid of the temper, and being my dad. I've seen a side of him in the last 7 days I always hoped for but never knew was in him. If there's one positive thing to come out of this, my dad and I have both put all of the past behind us and started fresh.
Now for that rant (and please note nothing here is intended to be political): My mother's attempt was Tuesday morning at 5:43 am (there's a time that's going to be burned into my head forever). She was rushed to the ER. By Tuesday afternoon, she was physically stable. Still having issues, but stable. Rather than getting her out to a place to start helping her deal with the mental and emotional issues that had led to this, they kept her in the ER until Thursday, all the while giving my dad and I the runaround as to why this was. On Thursday, they sent her to a place, which promised that, starting the next day, she would receive regular therapy sessions, medicinal treatment, and so forth. Since then, she's had 5 minutes with a psychiatrist, who gave her some anti-depressants...and that's it. There's been more "therapy" from me going to visit for her a couple of hours each night than there has been from any professionals. A week on from her attempt, and there's barely been anything done for her.
I'm not really sure where to go from here with everything. It's strange, in a way - my wife's mother's suicide back when she and I first met...then a couple years later, my best friend's mother tried twice (she's doing ok now, so we keep bringing her up to my mother as someone who got through everything), now this. Before, I was the "other guy", trying to get people through the turmoil, and now I'm "that guy" that's in it. So it's strange giving myself the advice that I've given other people before.
Right now, we're all just trying to keep things going a day at a time. I'm sorry for the length of this whole thing, but it's felt good to just kind of let some of it out.
Bill