Funny Kids :)

[Cloud9Gal]

I always find these funny and endearing! My favorite one is Melanie's (the one in pink).

Enjoy! :mixedsmi:

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JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked:<o:p></o:p>
'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for<o:p></o:p>
cold milk?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old<o:p></o:p>
she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't<o:p></o:p>
remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't<o:p></o:p>
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine<o:p></o:p>
say five to six.'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">BRITTANY</st1:place></st1:State> (age 4) had an earache and<o:p></o:p>
wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off<o:p></o:p>
the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it<o:p></o:p>
was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her.<o:p></o:p>
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does<o:p></o:p>
it know it's me?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom<o:p></o:p>
scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young<o:p></o:p>
couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. <o:p></o:p>
Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why<o:p></o:p>
is he whispering in her mouth?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
James (age 6) was listening to a Bible<o:p></o:p>
story. His dad read: 'The man named <st1:place w:st="on">Lot</st1:place> was warned to<o:p></o:p>
take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked<o:p></o:p>
back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James<o:p></o:p>
asked:'' What happened to the flea?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when<o:p></o:p>
they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. <o:p></o:p>
Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why<o:p></o:p>
doesn't your skin fit your face?'<o:p></o:p>
_________________________________________________<o:p></o:p>

The Sermon I think this Mom will never<o:p></o:p>
forget: On, this particular Sunday sermon...<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, 'Without you, we are but dust....' <o:p></o:p>

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>

[PhilRamone]

ha! yeah sometimes (more often than not) they can be handful.

i taught a Gr. 5/6 split class last year as part of my prgram at Univ and one day e were talking about local celebrities (we were brainstorming for an assignment i had given them) so someone came up with Wayne Gretzky, and another boy in my class quickly raised his hand, and said something like "when my mum was in high school, se was REALLY hot, and wayne gretzky asked her out to the dance and on a date and she said no"

all the boys in the class were mesmerized that The Great One had asked this boys mum out when she was younger... wmeanwhile, the teacher and I were trying to keep a straight face and carry on with the lesson :isadizzy:

i miss 'my' kids, they were hilarious

another time, i was teaching a lesson about Claude Monet, and how his cataracts made him see the colours different and all, and one girl asked "didnt anyone ever tell him he was doing it all wrong?" :d

[sandar]

I was on a veterinary course many years ago, ostensibly learning about problems with pregnancy and parturition in sheep. Yeah, I know all very boring, but the vet lecturer told an anecdote that made us laugh.

He was showing a bunch of school kids round during the lambing season. Very often lambs are born with a lot of fluid on their lungs and it is normal practise to gently swing the newborn lamb by the hind legs to evacuate the fluid, followed by a brisk rubbing down to stimulate breathing.
One fascinated child, who had witnessed the entire birth and subsequent swinging and rub down was heard to mutter, " serves it right for going up there in the first place"

[Snuffy]

:costumes: :costumes: :costumes:

Thanks for sharing C9G!!

I've always liked this one too ....

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.' 'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?' The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

[jmig]

Thanks C9G. Those are funny. Only a little girl would look inside her panties. You are lucky to get boys to wear them. They would rather be seeing who can pee the furthest.

:costumes:

[hey_moe]

The undies was the best one...that is where I always look for my age anyway...makes me feel younger:costumes: