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Quicksand
April 28th, 2010, 20:30
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...

Chacha
April 28th, 2010, 20:42
Oh man that is sad....

Do what he said man, tell his wife he loved her!
The wish of a dying man....

There are a few people like you that makes the difference in that loved ones life.
Go visit her and tell her...
Maybe he did not have a chance to tell her that he loved her...
Fulfill the man's last wish!

oakfloor
April 28th, 2010, 21:53
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...
Three times I have tried to reply, it's hard to see thru my tears. Let God be your strength thru this time of sorrow, hang in there.

TARPSBird
April 28th, 2010, 22:07
QS, that's a terrible thing to have happen. Sounds like the circumstances of this man's passing were sudden or violent, such as a heart attack or vehicle accident. It's terrifying for the person who's at death's door and I can only imagine what it must have been like for you. You should definitely do what the man asked and tell his wife he loved her. I'm sure that will bring her a good deal of comfort to ease her grief. Then take care of yourself and talk it over with your family or pastor. Hang in there. :)

Lionheart
April 28th, 2010, 22:53
Life is so precious...

Only when it is about to leave one do we see how priceless it is.

May you endure through this and may his wife also.

Tom Clayton
April 29th, 2010, 03:59
Wow... Prayers for both you and the man's family said here. Take care Friend...

Snuffy
April 29th, 2010, 04:32
I can't say that I've ever had a life extinguish on me, but I've pulled my fair share of bodies, both living and dead from automobiles. Its never pretty.

For all the movies and other stuff that's out there where we are "subject" and "witness" to these life to death scenes, we will never be conditioned for the event when it happens in real life.

Quicksand, you have to make your peace with it and let it go.

Petitions ascending for you and them.

lifejogger
April 29th, 2010, 05:03
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...

I have experienced this also and you never forget it. Now is the time to turn to family and friends and God and share how you feel. It may be hard to realize it now but you can use this experience improve your life and your relationship with others. I will be praying for you.

Navy Chief
April 29th, 2010, 05:15
Quicksand,

What were the circumstances of the man dying? From an accident? I have personally never experienced such a situation. I have worked as a nurses aide on a Geriatrics floor of a hospital, so have seen death, but not what you went through with that unfortunate man.

NC

rhumbaflappy
April 29th, 2010, 05:47
Hi Quicksand.

The few times I've witnessed death up close and personal, I was haunted by the imagery and remembered the sensations for weeks. I could close my eyes and be there again and again. I dreamt of it. It's hard.

But it fades. It looses it's edge and it's hold on us. Time does heal. Comfort yourself with the knowledge you comforted another in his time of need.

Dick

cheezyflier
April 29th, 2010, 06:17
Comfort yourself with the knowledge you comforted another in his time of need.



i think you make an important point. as unpleasant as it may have been, to be the last voice someone hears in this world is no small thing. there are no coincidences, and you can't put a price on what you tried to do for him.
be honored

Toastmaker
April 29th, 2010, 06:28
Quicksand, you know intellectually that death is a part of life and that it happens randomly all over the planet, has always been and will always be that way. Do not be sad - you rendered the same human compassion for him that we would all want in the same circumstances.

Do not be sad, as it was time for him to go off and maybe do other things. You performed a commendable human service - congratulations for stepping up and doing so. Many others would have fled. . .

tigisfat
April 29th, 2010, 07:05
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...

I know it's traumatic, but it sounds like you're a pretty solid guy who was capable of doing the right thing and had the fortitude to do it when the pressure was on. As such, this will eventually turn into a positive experience that will enrichen you and make you wiser.


Toastmaker's right, intellectually you know that death is just as human as birth even when it's untimely.

Here's to hoping you feel better about the whole thing!! You should.:ernae:

boxcar
April 29th, 2010, 07:08
.
Have been there as well, friend, twice in fact. A high honor, imo, to impart a man's final words to his companion. 'Tis part of the circle, Quicksand. You stepped up to the plate when it counted.
.

limjack
April 29th, 2010, 07:12
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...


May God's strenght be upon you Quicksand (as you have asked). Be there for his family like the others have said. May the man who past away in your arms now be in the good Lords arms.

Jim

Bjoern
April 29th, 2010, 07:17
Don't let it get the best of you, Quicksand. I'm sure you did everything you could.
Get some distraction, talk about it with someone.
But just don't let it eat you.

jmig
April 29th, 2010, 17:42
I can only imagine the emotional impact that had to have on you. I hope and pray that you find the strength to come through this experience better for it and his, family pulls through.

May he RIP.

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 17:48
First, let me say thanks for all the kind words and prayers..You guys and gals are my family. Second, let me apologize for posting what I did in this forum, as I broke my own rule about sticking to aviation topics... I was deeply depressed last night, and I am still an emotional wreck today..I debated whether to reply to the PMs I got asking what happened, and in the end decided to post the situational details publicly, as it is only right that you know the whole story.. Yesterday afternoon, as I headed south toward FL, I got behind a motorcycle. It was a nice bike to say the least, with its owners care apparent in the way it sparkled in the sunlight. I was impressed that the rider was smooth in his actions, and obviously a very safe and experienced biker.. A van passed me and swerved abruptly for the off ramp of the exit we were passing at the time, hit the cycle in the rear, knocking the rider off. The bike and rider went under the van and were tumbled before coming out from the back of the van, whose driver had yet to use his brakes... I locked up my brakes and slid to a stop only fifteen feet from the crumpled rider, who lay in a heap on the road.. The van, meanwhile, had attempted to run, but was forced to the median by some cars who had witnessed the crash. I ran over to the man, as did two other men, and we tried to what we could for him. His entire body was crushed... He was bleeding out quickly because his legs were almost torn off of his body. I used my belt, and one of the other guy's belts to apply tourniquets to his legs to slow the bleeding, but it was no use. When I ran to him, he was still conscious, and he said to me in a cracked whisper, "I'm bad, ain't I?" I tried to console him by saying he would be alright, but his skin started to turn an ashen gray, and I knew he was going into shock. He was still trying to speak, and I knelt down and took his head in my hands to try to comfort him, and listen to his words. He rasped out,"Tell my wife I love her." Those, as far as I know, were his last words. The paramedics came and began working on him at this point, and he quit breathing, and went into cardiac arrest. They were still doing CPR on him as they put him into the medevac chopper.. I have not been able to find out if he died for sure, but I don't think there is any way he could have lived.. Every inch of his body was either skinned, cut, or broken. After it was all over, I got physically sick and vomited until only green bile was left. Even after the rescue guys cleaned me up some after the chopper left, I still had his blood all over me until I was able to take a shower later..... I will never forget his eyes as he looked at me.. It was as if he knew... I told the helicopter crew what he had said, and told the Trooper who was investigating the cause exactly what I saw.. I was heartened to see many other motorists who witnessed this tragedy lining up to give a statement to this Trooper. I keep playing out the wreck and especially its aftermath over and over in my head. I hope that I did all I could for this man, and I am so angry that this had to happen to him.. No fault of his own... I thank you all for your prayers and support, and I ask you to continue to pray for this man and his family...

tigisfat
April 29th, 2010, 17:56
That poor guy; that just goes to show that you never know which day is your last.

Tom Clayton
April 29th, 2010, 19:05
Wow, I just caught up with this and I'm absolutely floored. I ride too, as does my wife. There's so many things I'd like to say, but I just can't find the words to express them properly. I'm angry at the van's driver. I mourn the loss of any human life, and especially a fellow rider. I can't begin to guess what his family and friends are going through right now. "Senseless" and "needless" are words that keep echoing in my head.

I hope and pray for peace for the friends and family left behind.

HouseHobbit
April 29th, 2010, 19:09
QuickSand, I do understand, Like many I have had to experence this..
I do Pray for you, Please do Understand, that your act of compassion will not go unnoticed, I believe by our Lord..
Take what comfort as you can from those that love you, don't be concerned to let Those near you Know how you feel..
Thank You from someone who rides a Harley, for doing what you could..
And may God have mercy on this poor souls' family..
God Bless and keep you...

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 19:16
I am still so angry.. but I know now I did all I could..... I want to grab the guy driving the van by the collars.... and then I lose trck.. He stepped out of the van, and threw his hands in the air, as if to say, "What did I do?", or "I didn't do anything.".... If I had not been so busy trying to keep the cyclist alive, I could have killed that no good &^%$! I must move past this, though.. I know...

N2056
April 29th, 2010, 19:17
I first saw this at work (I occasionally sneak a peak), but I don't log in and reply to stuff there. Needless to say when I first read it I was pretty glad I work in a remote corner...

Quicksand, you absolutely did the best that you could do. It takes a special person to be able to step up in that type of situation and do what needs to be done. I am terribly sorry that despite your efforts it did not go well. You should take comfort in the knowledge that you were there for him at a crucial time in his life.

I wish there was something that I could say or do to ease your mind, but I know that sometimes you can't fix things on your own. I offer my prayers to you and the family involved.

You need not apologize about posting this. As sad as he outcome is I think that today in a way God worked through you in helping that man. Your gesture in helping him deserves more praise than I can offer in this venue.

Peace be with you.

Lionheart
April 29th, 2010, 19:34
I see now why this really hit you hard Quicksand. That was a horrible way for that poor guy to go. Awesome of you to be there for him. Danged awesome.


May his soul rest in peace and may his family and friends and his wife endure through this horrible tragedy.



Bill

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 19:37
Thanks for your post, N2056.... I am at a loss for words.. As lame as it may seem, I would have gladly traded my life for his, after watching the horrible way this thing happened.. I have lived and loved, but this man could not have been over twenty..... So sad.... His words, and his voice, will be with me until my own passing.. I have a son (Little QS here) about the same age... I hope they throw the book at the moron driving the van.. Common sense will tell you that you can't run seventy mph in fifty mph traffic. I hope he pays...

N2056
April 29th, 2010, 19:46
Your frustration is one I know well in terms of the ability (or lack thereof) some people have when it comes to driving. I used to work in a job where I drove a field service truck all over southern California. One of the bigger reasons I left that job was wanting to not spend that much time driving around with people that got their license out of a box of Cracker Jack!

It sounds like that van driving loser is done based on what you said about the witnesses. I also was liking the part about how he was forced to a stop by others.

We can only hope.

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 19:46
Thanks for your insight, Bill. I feel so sad that we could not help him, though.. It really leaves me feeling empty, or unfulfilled, like I failed...............

Ken Stallings
April 29th, 2010, 19:50
Hoping to grab some folks by the shirt collar tonight.. Wish I could.. A man died in my arms this afternoon...He told me to tell his wife that he loved her.. I may never get over this.. He died in MY arms..So scared, and so serious.. I tried to deny, and then to reassure... No good.. He still died.. and so did a piece of me....God please help me...

Good grief, man! That's very intense!

Ken

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 19:53
It was a very bad time, Ken... to put it lightly..

Quicksand
April 29th, 2010, 20:11
I gotta get some sleep so I can get my appointed rounds done tomorrow.. I thank all of you for your thoughts, support, and prayers...

kilo delta
April 30th, 2010, 01:49
I've been in similar situations in the past,Quicksand, and can only try to offer you the comfort that ,in time, you will be able to fully deal with this tragedy. You are probably still in shock.

My thoughts are with you.

aeromed202
April 30th, 2010, 03:53
Quicksand, to my thinking heros are common folk who rise to a challenge. I think you can count yourself as among the group. You jumped in to help which shows your character. There is no script for real life, we can plan and influence just so far.

It looks like you're getting a handle on this which is really good, but give yourself time. I don't see too many of these calls but I remember all of them, and summer is coming. They never get easy.

Snuffy
April 30th, 2010, 04:15
Perhaps ... (sorry if this was covered, just going by memory from last night's reading ... )

You could get the fella's name and address and home phone from the EMS or someone, and relay the message he gave you to his wife. That might provide some closure.

:wavey:

2Low
April 30th, 2010, 04:31
Thanks for your insight, Bill. I feel so sad that we could not help him, though.. It really leaves me feeling empty, or unfulfilled, like I failed...............

I'm sorry you had to experience this and even sorrier that young man had to die in such a needless way.

I would like to deeply thank you as a rider myself. A lot of people would have driven on to get home and left it for others to "deal with". The stabbing victem in the news recently comes to mind.

I hope I'm never in a serious bike accident but if it came to that I hope someone like you is around. I would want to say my last words and die with human contact and compasion rather than alone on the cold pavement.

I'm not great with words and I wish I could say it better but,

Thank you


Rob

brad kaste
April 30th, 2010, 05:07
Quicksand,
Hard to find appropriate words to respond to in your thoughtful and moving above statements. It's touched us all here.
I've never gone through what you have. Most of us haven't. However,...if there's some consolation in this sad tragedy,...you were there to comfort him during his final breaths of life. God bless you,....and like others here,...I'll be keeping you and the bikers wife in my thoughts and prayers.
-Brad
p.s., I think Snuffy makes a good point in bringing some closure for the grief you're experiencing. If the authorities would give you the home phone number so you could personally talk to his wife. He'd like that and so would she.

harleyman
April 30th, 2010, 14:16
WOW...What a thing to go thru....

Agreed with all who said that more positive will come from this to you later in life....

Trajic as it was, you were there, and chosed for that task I truely believe..Everything happens for a reason... Most times we never discover that reason..but place our faith in it..You were chosen ...

I too ride..If I were to die on a highway, I surely would perfer it to be in the arms of a compasionate person, such as yourself...

God bless you for what you now must endure, and that you will learn to overcome, and find peace and solice in your experience...

Quicksand
May 1st, 2010, 08:06
Just wanted to pop in for a minute between "honey-do's" to say thanks to all for your support. I have contacted the EMS guys, and sadly, this young man died. They are supposed to get back to me with some contact info for the rider's wife. I'm just puttin' one boot in front of the other today, but I learned a valuable lesson on Tuesday. The term, and song, "Live like you were dying", holds new meaning for me... Never again will I ever view, no matter how stressed I am trying to keep my daily schedule, coming up on an accident and having to wait until the road reopens, as an inconvenience. That young man and his tragic death will ride with me wherever I go... Praying for his family...

brad kaste
May 1st, 2010, 10:13
.....Bless ya' brother!.......