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View Full Version : IKEA can break a marriage...



Rami
October 17th, 2009, 11:01
To all,

I hate this store with a passion. My wife wakes me up at 7:30 and tells me we're going shopping at IKEA with a credit card I just paid off. If any of you have had this pleasure, you'll understand where this is going. First off, my wife seems to forget that I know my way around the area, and that I've been driving for a decade and a half and can actually navigate there and back without her telling me how to drive.

I swear that if you listen closely as you pull into their parking garage, you can actually hear husbands, boyfriends and fiances kicking and screaming. Finding a parking place was a nightmare, and then going through their crowded, noisy warehouse carrying a baby bag and my three screaming children in a triple-seat stroller wasn't any better, especially while my wife fills up the shopping cart with more stuff we don't need.

After getting the herd home and unloading the car, I'm now left with a massive headache, baby vomit on my shirt, a six-pack of Molson Canadian, and a roomful of furniture I'm supposed to know how to assemble.

I'll get to it, but first...I gotta fire up CFS2 and kill something...besides that six pack.

Pure marital bliss.

Quixoticish
October 17th, 2009, 11:15
If you don't need to actually go there to buy anything then explain the situation to her. If you can't reach some kind of compromise what's the point of being in a relationship?

Prowler1111
October 17th, 2009, 11:16
But dude..those are the joys of marriage..with children...:173go1:


....and a roomful of furniture I'm supposed to know how to assemble.
You forgot to add with instruction sheets that appear to be drawn by a 3 yrd kid...

Prowler

Rami
October 17th, 2009, 11:20
If you don't need to actually go there to buy anything then explain the situation to her. If you can't reach some kind of compromise what's the point of being in a relationship?

Chris,

I did, and we do. But when my wife gets the 'shopping bug'...it's like a mosquito trying to stop an elephant. The reason I paid off our credit cards is that Christmas is coming, and my wife becomes the 'psycho shopper.' So I'm trying to limit the damage.

minuteman10
October 17th, 2009, 11:28
..Maybe 2 six-packs next time?:ernae:
Where are you in Mass?

Rami
October 17th, 2009, 11:31
..Maybe 2 six-packs next time?:ernae:
Where are you in Mass?

Minuteman10,

I'm on blood thinners from some clots in the past...so one six pack is enough when you have thin blood. It's basically counting double. I'm a sure-fire 'two can Sam'...hell, even NyQuil gets me loopy. :d

I live in Whitman, about twenty miles south-southeast of Boston.

Naismith
October 17th, 2009, 11:44
I'm willing to bet that you won't have any of that Ikea furniture which you bought today 5 years from now....... stand-by........ 3 years from now, it's all crud.

Chacha
October 17th, 2009, 12:20
But dude..those are the joys of marriage..with children...:173go1:

Prowler

Amen to that! :engel016:

sandar
October 17th, 2009, 12:29
I'm with you Rami, I hate Ikea with a passion as well. I don't like the stuff they sell, nor do I like the crowds that seem to buzz to the place like flies on sh, er cow pats. Fortunately I have my wife well trained in good taste.

We have an Ikea store about a mile away from home, we have never been and never will. Our local council granted planning permission for the store to be built right next to Asda (UK's version of Walmart), the local football (soccer) stadium and a large DIY superstore. At weekends the place is chaos, especially if the football team are playing at home.

bushpilot
October 17th, 2009, 12:38
IKEA stores are gateways to hell I tells ya. Swedish hell.

Matt Wynn
October 17th, 2009, 12:46
But dude..those are the joys of marriage..with children...:173go1:


You forgot to add with instruction sheets that appear to be drawn by a 3 yrd kid...

Prowler

they would make more sense to a 3yr old thats for sure, at age 3 i was dismantling furniture and ripping up carpet :icon_lol::icon_lol: could dis-assemble the stuff... just never put it together, till now :icon_lol: who knew a 6'7 by 3' wardrobe could be such a bloody nightmare :isadizzy:

CBris
October 17th, 2009, 12:46
Yah! Fürniture with assembly instructions written (sorry - drawn) by the Swedish Chef...

Cheap and cheerful - but if you're married make sure you drive nothing larger than a Mercedes Smart...

"Terribly sorry dear, if it doesn't fit in the car, we can't take it home..."

stansdds
October 17th, 2009, 12:52
http://www.shopaholicsanonymous.org/

That's all I can say.

Matt Wynn
October 17th, 2009, 12:53
if my mrs asks me to go to ikea now it's a case of "sorry, cars gone, only my bike now" :icon_lol: mind you knowing my mrs she'd make me wear the bloody thing as a big backpack... but then the joys of high-speed cornering go out the window, and Chris, i agree swedish chef MUST have drawn the things, cheap and cheerful? have you gone mad? some of the stuff looks like it's come out of a 747 at 30,000ft and the designer said "looks good don't touch it, build it like this" and cheap, hell you ain't met my mrs :icon_lol: i'll bring her to Kos with me next time yer out there and i head out there at concurrent time, thank goodness theres no Ikea on Kos :icon_lol:

Allen
October 17th, 2009, 22:01
The reason I paid off our credit cards is that Christmas is coming, and my wife becomes the 'psycho shopper.' So I'm trying to limit the damage.

Your doing it wrong.:kilroy: You pay off the credit cards than cut the up. If this keep up you may be up to 4 six-packs by Christmas.:isadizzy:

Have lots of :icon29: and hope for the best!

Piglet
October 17th, 2009, 22:36
Don't you know Ikea is Swedish for "Particle board"?
I sometimes call it "Ikea board".

MaskRider
October 17th, 2009, 23:33
Hey! I love our Poang chairs! Had 'em for many many years- more than 3! ;) Also, got a very basic 30" high solid wood corner TV stand/component center. We looked everywhere for just the right size and look- uncomplicated- and IKEA was the only place that came close- for the right price, too. Perfection in a box!

But I agree that the IKEA shopping experience is about as bad as it gets- mainly because it is like going to a shopaholic and idiot's convention all rolled into one! I mean there are some seriously hell-bent consumers patronizing that place. Do not stand still in an aisle!

The nearest one to us is 20 miles in the Mission Valley area of San Diego.

Buck up Rami, it over, for now.

Willy
October 17th, 2009, 23:42
The nearest one to me is in Memphis about a two hour drive. So we don't mess with it.

dhasdell
October 17th, 2009, 23:52
After lots of unhappy visits to IKEA (Idioten Kaufen Eben Alles?) I think I've solved the problem by buying a Peugeot 206, which is too small to carry any but the smallest items.

One of my main gripes is the lack of service. When we moved to Spain I thought it would be possible to go to a UK store, look at the catalogue and order for delivery upon arrival, but that was far too complicated. When we did get our order some items were missing, but the van driver was able to offer a mysteriously spare table at a knock down price.

:banghead:

srgalahad
October 18th, 2009, 00:34
I'm willing to bet that you won't have any of that Ikea furniture which you bought today 5 years from now....... stand-by........ 3 years from now, it's all crud.

Caveat emptor...
Like many I bought Ikea because it's all I could afford or it fitted a specific need and space at the time. Don't think that a lot of 'high quality, local-made furniture' is much better. I know -- I've worked off and on in the furniture business since 1973, even to the extent of owning a store at one point and doing repairs for a few others.

Now that I have more invested in woodworking tools than I do in computers (and I have 4 of those running right now) and make my own furniture, I'm a lot more critical customer... BUT two of those computers sit on a very sturdy, flexible desk that I bought at Ikea 10 years ago. Several hundred pounds of books and magazines reside on "Billy" bookcases that have survived 16 years and two long-distance moves.

No, not all Ikea stuff is great, and much of it is "cheap and dirty" but if it fills a need that can't be met elsewhere in town within the budget...

Oh, if your Ikea has a restaurant, go sit with a plate of Swedish Meatballs, guarding the credit cards while you send the spouse off to "check it out and report back". Then go and disallow the picks and head home with an excuse not to cook supper.
:running:


Rob

cheezyflier
October 18th, 2009, 04:03
maybe this guy was on to something....

http://www.ugo.com/movies/guide-to-rage/images/tyler-durden.jpg

Ferry_vO
October 18th, 2009, 04:19
Hmmm, I think Ikea is one of the few large stores I do not mind visiting; been there plenty of times during my last moves. The food is not bad at all and cheap, plus you get two free cups of coffee (With the also free 'family card')!

Got my sofa, chair (Also a Poang), TV set (Seventeen boxes, total weight over 300 lbs!) coffee table and much more from there. I bought a solid metal lamp, four feet high with a real glass hood for less than $20. Thing weighs a ton! No missing parts, no problems during assembly. The only issue I've had was a broken beam inside my sofa which unfortunately we found out after we lifted the thing up to the third floor... Bloody thing weighs 130 pounds! No problems exchanging it for a new one though.

MaskRider
October 18th, 2009, 09:21
Ok, how about an exact translation of "Idioten Kaufen Eben Alles?":d

aeromed202
October 18th, 2009, 09:38
I feel for you Rami. As a former Bostonian fully half the reason I like not living there anymore is because of the obnoxious people. The other half is the crowding of same. I've been a lot of places and that region is among the worst for general bad behavior. It always seemed like those mentioned above successfully trod over the ones trying to be decent.
The IKEA here in the Midwest wasn't so bad. The staff were, on the whole, helpful and the few things we got were not too hard to assemble.

Bjoern
October 18th, 2009, 10:03
Ok, how about an exact translation of "Idioten Kaufen Eben Alles?":d

Idiots simply buy anything.



I like IKEA. Like any other youngster out there, almost half of all the things in my appartment are from IKEA. Granted, it's not the cheapest place to buy stuff though but always offers a good opportunity for grabbing one of those excellent and cheap Hot Dogs or expensive swedish chocolate on the way out.

Oh, and watching other people, mostly male, suffer under the terrifying shopping-frenzy induced reign of their so-called "better halves" somehow always gives me kind of a chuckle.

Then again, the world really needs more "Männergärten" - like kinder gardens, but just for men. A beer-filled fridge, a TV, a fast-food buffet and an extensive Playboy collection is all a husband needs to forget that his honeybunny just spent the whole salary on completely useless stuff.

:icon_lol:

b24_witchcraft
October 18th, 2009, 20:31
Here's my tale of IKEA woe. My brother and his (now wife) bought an IKEA dresser there for their bedroom and they asked me to help out. So being the nice guy that I am I do just that. After spending a couple of hours assembling the entire dresser and what do you know I find out the last two drawer sides I need to complete the last drawer were identical to each other. As a result I needed to make a return trip to get the correct piece(s) after all of the work I did. To their credit the IKEA staff were nice enough to find the right part for me.

Rami - A bit of advice go to IKEA on the weekdays when it's less busy (you'll find the staff more helpful) there if you can.
FYI - IKEA also posts assembly instructions for their merchandise on their website too - http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/customer_service/assembly_instructions.html

Anyways best of luck.

MCDesigns
October 19th, 2009, 02:11
To all,

I hate this store with a passion. My wife wakes me up at 7:30 and tells me we're going shopping at IKEA with a credit card I just paid off. If any of you have had this pleasure, you'll understand where this is going. First off, my wife seems to forget that I know my way around the area, and that I've been driving for a decade and a half and can actually navigate there and back without her telling me how to drive.

I swear that if you listen closely as you pull into their parking garage, you can actually hear husbands, boyfriends and fiances kicking and screaming. Finding a parking place was a nightmare, and then going through their crowded, noisy warehouse carrying a baby bag and my three screaming children in a triple-seat stroller wasn't any better, especially while my wife fills up the shopping cart with more stuff we don't need.

After getting the herd home and unloading the car, I'm now left with a massive headache, baby vomit on my shirt, a six-pack of Molson Canadian, and a roomful of furniture I'm supposed to know how to assemble.

I'll get to it, but first...I gotta fire up CFS2 and kill something...besides that six pack.

Pure marital bliss.

Sounds more like a bad relationship experience more than a bad Ikea experience. You could substitute any other store for Ikea and the experience is likely to be the same here.

Rami
October 19th, 2009, 03:22
Well, I got the furniture assembled. Not too bad...it only took me eight hours. :icon29:

McDesigns,

These days are rare...but they're clustered typically from October to January, when Erica goes into her "shopping" mode. I am actually quite lucky, and 98% of the time we get along just fine!

Chacha
October 19th, 2009, 03:27
Well, I got the furniture assembled. Not too bad...it only took me eight hours. :icon29:

McDesigns,

These days are rare...but they're clustered typically from October to January, when Erica goes into her "shopping" mode. I am actually quite lucky, and 98% of the time we get along just fine!

You are blessed to have Erica and your 3 precious kids.... :engel016:

dhasdell
October 19th, 2009, 08:52
Here's a suggestion for CFS2 players - use the mission builder and rename the Japanese flight from Ikeda, Iwai etc to Ikea. I just tried it and it feels good!
:jump: