You know you are or were an aircraft mechanic if.....

[brad kaste]

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<table class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> YOU KNOW YOU ARE or WERE AN AIRCRAFT MECHANIC IF...............


http://f825.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=1%5f4393%5fAL9Wv9EAAUakSq%2f4aASqnTdT uq0&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1



You’ve ever said, “Yea, it’s supposed to look like that.”
You’ve ever breathed 100% Oxygen to cure a hangover.
You've ever used 145 Octane AVGAS in your car.
You know what JP-4 or JP-5 tastes like.
You’ve ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.
You can’t figure out why maintenance officers exist.
You consider “Moly-B” smudges on food an “acquired taste.”
You have ever jumped inside an intake to get out of the rain.
You looked for pictures of “your” jet in aviation books and magazines.
You can’t figure out why two weeks pay is gone after three days.
You ever used a wheel chock or tow bar for a pillow.
You ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.
You ever used a pair of dikes to trim a fingernail.
You ever wiped leaks away right before a crew showed up.
You ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it.
You refer to QA as “the enemy.”
You know the international sign language for “pull your head out of your ass.”
You believe the aircraft has a soul. You talk to the aircraft.
You know more about your mechanic buddies than you do about your own family, everyone you know has some kind of nickname.
You’ve wanted the jet to start just so you can warm up.
You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can because it was too hard to get a hydraulic bucket.
You used the “Pull Chocks” hand signal to tell your buddies it is time to leave.
You ever pre-flighted in bad weather only to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.
You know in your heart that your jet is female.
You refer to ANY machine as "she."
You’ve ever been told to go get some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the jet.
You fix $30 million jets, but can’t figure out what’s wrong with your $150 lawnmower.
Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.
Some of the tools in your toolbox at home have names etched on them.
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[Navy Chief]

I was amazed at how many of those were VERY familiar to me........

The second one, for instance; that was something I did at LEAST three times a week when I first came into the Navy. Matter of fact, my first four years are somewhat of a blur...................

NC

[Piglet]

:ernae::ernae::ernae:

[waco]

I can identify with about half of that list. :ernae: I started on B-36's and retired when our
FB-111's went overseas. How about something like "You know he's a recip engine mechanic when he alway has grime under his fingernails and his fatigues are always just as grungy."

[waco]

Another for the list. "You filled your Zippo lighter with av gas."

[Silver Fox]

Been there, done those, got the t-shirt!

Anyone ever notice how a FOD walk in sunny and warm days brought out everybody in the hangar...and the same event just above freezing in a pouring rain was done by 3 new guys who didn't know when to get 'busy'? :)

[Allen]

That list applies to all mechanic. Just change the names and it would apply to the automotive field.

[tigisfat]

Some things in the military change; I've watched maintenance get more anal for the better over the last decade.

I now know why maintenance officers exist, but still don't understand how someone who isn't a maintainer, engineer or pilot has any relativity as a leader!!

[cheezyflier]

being a tool guy, one of the coolest things i have seen in my buddies box (he was an aircraft guy) was a device that allowed him to drill out a rivet at 90 degrees, in a 1" slot, about 6" or 8" from the outside.

[PRB]

It’s interesting how perspectives change. As a maintainer in a work center, we kind of did regard QA with suspicion. But later in life, as a QA person, I can see why we need QA… After I left the navy, I spent a brief period of time working on FA-18s in the Navy’s “Top Gun” squadron at Miramar. The navy contracted that job out to Lockheed, you see. Lockheed because Top Gun had a bunch of F-16s, and Lockheed had just bought the F-16 division of General Dynamics (1994-ish). In 1994 Top Gun traded in their F-16s for FA-18s, and so hired people with Hornet maintenance background. And that’s how I ended up in QA at Top Gun maintenance department.
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It was a stressful job because the maintenance organization at Top Gun was the scariest thing I’d ever seen in my life. Part of the problem was that Top Gun maintenance, as an F-16 outfit, basically, was staffed by ex-Air Force types who knew all about the F-16. As ex Air Force people, they were allowed to run the maintenance department like the USAF would, which made sense. But, when the FA-18s came on board, one of the contract requirements was that the maintenance department was to be organized and run like any other navy squadron maintenance department. Many of the ex-Air Force types had a serious “attitude problem” about being “turned into” a Navy outfit, and about loosing their beloved F-16s. Anyhow, quality of maintenance on those old Hornets was not good. It got to the point that the squadron was grounded around 1995-ish after the annual Air Wing conducted annual maintenance practices inspection was held, and failed. It is a very rare thing for a squadron to be grounded for crappy maintenance practices. I’d never seen it done in the actual navy, but Top Gun managed it in 1995.

[Navy Chief]

Anyone ever notice how a FOD walk in sunny and warm days brought out everybody in the hangar...and the same event just above freezing in a pouring rain was done by 3 new guys who didn't know when to get 'busy'? :)

As Line Div. CPO, I know well what that situation is like. The worst offenders were the Maint. Control CPOs. They would stay in Maint. Control with their coffee cups in hand, and then yell out over the intercom for everyone to go to FOD Walkdown. It was a battle, every time.

NC

[Bone]

LOL. That list never gets old; love it.

[Piglet]

was a device that allowed him to drill out a rivet at 90 degrees, in a 1" slot, about 6" or 8" from the outside

We got those, used one about 2 weeks ago:applause:
Also most mechs take a dim view toward pilots. Not surprising, since we often have to clean up thier messes!:gameoff:
"My radios don't work!"
Is the volume turned up?
"yeah, I mean no"
Have a good flight!

[Bone]

Also most mechs take a dim view toward pilots. Not surprising, since we often have to clean up thier messes!:gameoff:
"My radios don't work!"
Is the volume turned up?
"yeah, I mean no"
Have a good flight!

We're not all that lame. Besides, after 20+ years of making a living as a pilot, I've seen plenty of mechanic F-ups. The good news, for me at least, is that I've always taken an interest in what the mechanics are doing, and I am great friends with many.

[Navy Chief]

When I was at Patuxent River in the early 70s, one of the pilots wrote up a discrepancy, "Bird sh.... on canopy". The guy from our shop who cleaned the canopy wrote this in the Corrective Action Taken part of the MAF: "Removed Squab Excrement From Canopy Windshield Assembly"

As I recall, the pilot was not amused........:ernae:

NC

[Willy]

I don't know about aircraft QA, but I did a tour in Submarine QA. Let's just say that the Navy is real picky about the repair work done on nuclear subs.

[Piglet]

Many planes owners try to do their own work. THAT'S when many problems crop up! This year's fad at my airport seems to be starting the engine with the towbar still attached!:pop4:

[demorier]

You missed at least one.....You haven't crashed an aircraft yet. (That's a pilots job).

[Bone]

You missed at least one.....You haven't crashed an aircraft yet. (That's a pilots job).

Actually, many have.

[strikehawk]

This is from a post I made on another forum several years ago. I got it off the Navy Safety Center's website at that time. Sadly it is no longer there and I forgot the ones I posted on that site. Oh well.

Everything you eat is in sandwich form.
You have eaten dinner from a paper plate, but you are not really sure it's yours. Same with soda cans.
If you think JP-, 8802 and moly B are interchangeable with mustard, mayo and ketchup.
You get very suspicious if your sandwich does not have greasy fingerprints on it.
The only vegetables you can identify with is french fries and potato chips.
You envy the AIMD guys who work only 12 hours a day.
You envy the AIMD avionics guys who are wearing foul weather coats in the middle of the desert.
You continually fill the ship CO's box with "suggestions" to turn off the bosun's pipe so night check can get some sleep.
You can quote per diem and exchange rates from memory.
You laugh like hell when a VIP sits in a puddle of hydraulic fluid you "forgot" to wipe up.
You ever started a conversation with a pilot with "Godd*** it, Sir."
Your re-enlistment "benny book" is still full when you transfer.
You were late to your re-enlistment because you were the only CDI available.
You make jewelry from safety wire while waiting for the bird to come back.
You think underwear is merely a suggestion.
You wonder what exactly is a "HOLIDAY ROUTINE"?
You have re-attached the sole of your boot with 8802 because there's no money for a new pair.
You establish the det "MWR Fund" two weeks before you leave.
You threaten the AK with bodily harm if he doesn't ship the mysterious cruise box marked "MWR Fund".

You've ever sent a MAF to another shop just to have them send it back to you.
You believe a hammer is a necessary tool no matter what the job.
You judge how well you've done a job by how many tools you broke to complete it.
You use a screwdriver for a punch or a chisel.
You've ever seen "Your aircraft" as a static display.
You can change a jet tire faster than you can change a car tire.
You wonder why NASCAR pit crews need pneumatic guns to change tires that fast.
You've ever boasted about how many tools you've broken in one night.
You've ever drug your feet so you can avoid hangar-bay cleanup.
You have a list of answers for people who ask you "what you're doing."
You've ever watched an air show and were pissed off because you knew you were going to have to fix that aircraft the next day.
You've ever taken off from a flight deck, but not landed on one (or vise versa).
You know what a "hell hole" is.
You can tell where a tool landed by the last sound you heard.
You know exactly how many of your model jets are left in service.
You've ever seen anyone taped to a chair in a hangar bay.
You refer to ship's company as "boat chucks."
You've ever been the subject of a safety stand-down.
You have to check your pockets every time you leave your shop.
You can quote passages in maintenance publication faster than a religious person can quote scripture.
You've ever joked about getting a calibration seal tattooed on your elbow.
You've tried to decline a position because you like working too much.
Your shop is an escape from family.
You look down on other shops because you don't think they work as hard as yours. Of course, they think the same of your shop.
You're careful of what you say around a jet in fear that you might offend it.
You can reminisce about clubs in the countries you've visited but regret not having seen more sights.
You rate countries on how attractive the locals are..
You have more spare parts in your desk drawer than supply has given to your shop.
You take your own spare parts on det or deployment.
You know at least two names for every part of an aircraft.

The flight deck isn't as bad as they made it seem - it's worse.
One good AZ beats 10 lousy AE's.
There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
Not everything works according to the specs in the pub.
Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you never will use.
Always try to fix the hardware with software.
Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
Pilots and 120s, not maintainers, make the rules.
If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go O-level.

Additional You might be a maintainer if.....


You wiped down leak before aircrew sees it
If it's leaking that means it's fully serviced.
Don't mess with it, if ain't nothing wrong with it.
The more maintenance you do, the more you break it
If ain't in the book, ain't gonna happen
You get the book and sit on it.
It's good, forget it, fly it.
During maintenance meeting, it's easy to write in the passdown log "DAY-OFF".
You talk to your aircraft "C'mon Baby, you and me again".
You whisper your aircraft during launch "Come back good...you hear"
What crack? Patch it with ordnance tape good enough.
Righty tighty, lefty loosy.

And these are just for the AO's...


you Know the world is held together with ordnance tape(specifically the green one)
you hate bologna sanwiches
you trully despise brown bags....
you fix a pilots gripe about loose nut in cockpit by 'nut walked off flight line'....
you dont have a single knucle that aint got at least 2 scars on it
you have fallen asleep standing up,head pressed onto a bomb rack....
you know what a hangar queen is....
you Know that a mk-84 is really not a 2k bomb...
you have taken a electronic black box,dropped it a few inches and you Know it will work now...